Nae - nobody is judging you hun! You are doing a fantastic job. I think sometimes when you are so focused on the pregnancy and getting through that, the part that comes after can be a bit of a shock to the system. It does take a huge amount of adjustment to go from being pregnant to actually being a mum!

I also agree with using a sling. I have a hug-a-bub that was the only one that Miss J would settle infor her day sleeps for the first 6 weeks of her life. She was a windy baby and I think she really needed to be upright to be comfortable. Also she was close to me and needed that constant bond to settle. We also ended up co-sleeping for the first 3 weeks at night for the same reason. If you want to try the hug-a-bub sling I'm happy to send it to you if you like.

Miss J has gone through periods of breast preference too - even now she is clearly preferring the right one and she is 9 months old! I would try feeding lying down as you may find she is more relaxed (and so are you). The ABA help line is a great support - I have called them a couple of times and it really helped.