Thanks so much for all of your advice and thoughts.
Things are not going so fantastically still. I have been back in hospital where it was suggested that I simply express and bottle feed Shae so that we get "some enjoyment" out of her.
I tired for one feed but it was simply horrible watching my baby feed from a bottle and I felt just like a dairy cow (sorry no offense intended for those who EBM exclusively) I felt like such a failure.
I have had the LC out at my house and wouldn't you know it Shae feed perfectly from BOTH sides while she was out. I went into the BF clinic and finally someone else saw just what the feeding was like when the banshee takes over my baby.
We do think it is a bit more of a supply issue with the right side so in between a couple of day time feeds I am expressing for 10 min just to try yo boost it.
DH have been fighting no end which has increased the anxiety in the entire house hold and I am still feeling so emotional all of the time.
My parents have been less than supportive, after an incredibly tiring day Mum was working out this way and asked if it was ok to pop in. I said NO and told her we were out at the clinic all day and were going to be tired and need time that evening to rest etc. So she said how a neighbour had given her a present for Shae and she would just drop that in ...... Fine ........ I was in bed, I did get up to go to the toilet but I went straight back to bed because I was so exhausted (rather than going out to say hi and make small talk, Shae had also been difficult getting settled). Then I get a phone call from Dad asking me to call him back, I did and I copped an ear full about how selfish I am being and how terrible my attitude towards my mother is ......... I just told him to firetruck off and hung up on him - as if things were not stressful enough.
Anyways Its been an incredibly difficult week, I know some of you have sent me messages etc I really appreciate everything I am just so tired and deflated I barely have the energy to type this.
Must go and try to catch 40 winks before bub wakes hopefully we start to have some good nights and good feeds soon.
oh forgot - we're off to the drs tomorrow as well so we will be discussing pnd amongst a few other things ........ I honestly do love my baby and my husband deep deep down, I just cannot stand being around them when we're all tired and crying and angry all the time.
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