you poor darling. you must be stressed out of your tree, if you think other mums are going to judge you! nothing could be further from the truth.

lots of us have been where you are now, and i can remember (blurrily) feeling SOOOO overwhelmed in those early months.

baby can't verbalise anything to you, you're trying to guess why they're crying, no-one is getting any sleep and the sleep deprivation really drives you over the edge.

i desperately wanted to bf too, but for the first three months, i cannot say it was pain free for me. i have no idea what changed at three month mark, maybe she got better at sucking, and i got better at holding and relaxing, but it took us three months to build up the bf-ing relationship (establishment of bf-ing).

i hope you take up Brigsy's kind offer, i reckon you could do with a friendly face around.

i had some pretty judgemental health professionals that i saw early on, that really made me doubt myself. i'm sure there are good ones too, (good and bad in every profession) but i seemed to strike the ones that saw formula feeding as normal and bf-ing as "give up at first hurdle" type attitude - which is not what i needed.

it IS hard to find medical people with bf-ing expertise. the ABA and private LC's were the best i found. and posting in the bf-ing section of this forum.

i also had my own personal cheer squad, of seeing the ABA calendar pic each day in my kitchen on the wall, and reading the ABA magazine (from cover to cover) each two months "Essence", i love reading that. So real.

Getting to know your bub, and what to do with a new bub, is a HUGE learning curve. It's hard to learn ANYTHING when you're tired and stressed, so it's a big ask.

It takes time to work out what you need, and then to actually ask for it.
Prune everything back to basics.
Are you getting enough food and drink into YOU each day?
Do you sit down to breastfeed with a "essentials box", so that you have
- water
- snacks
-phone
- remote
- pen and paper
- something to read
- lip balm or whatever you like
- breastpads
- spare nappy to mop up spills
etc
at an arms reach?

if you're not getting to eat lunch, ask your dh to make you a packed lunch each day, waiting for you in the fridge. Or tupperware containers full of bite sized snacks, cut up veg suitable for eating with dip - something you can help yourself to one handed, with baby in one arm.

think of ONE THING each day, you would like to do, to feel like YOU again.

it can be something as simple as "having a shower".

let your parnter know what your ONE THING is, so they can help you achieve it.

even if your partner is at work all day, that's 8 hours they are NOT dealing with the demands of a nb, so don't feel guilty asking for help.

the chiro idea and the sling ideas are great. another thing is baby hammocks to sooth baby to sleep. i wish i had hired one of those for the first few months. Some babies get diagnosed with colic (vague term) and being in the hammock helps that.

a stranger in a chemist mentioned about gripe water to me early on, so i tried it on my nb (for unexplained crying). About three mins after giving her the gripe water, her tummy would gurgld, she would poop noisily (LOL) and then breathe a big sigh and start smiling. So i learnt, she needed a bit of help, to sometimes poop.

all trial and error. Try things, keep doing whatever works.

trying to help a nb, when they can't tell you what's wrong, you're continually trying to be creative, thinking up what COULD be wrong, (when usually very tired), it's an exhausting thing to keep doing 24 hours a day.

whilst pregnant, you can pretty much sleep when you want
baby arrives, suddenly it's often a few snatched hours of broken sleep
HUGE ADJUSTMENT

i bet you're doing alot better than you realise, you're just too tired to notice

big hugs to you, it IS hard work.

the blissed out breastfeeding took ages to happen for us, it did come, just alot later than i expected.