Last night watched a show which touched on the praising clever versus effort thing, someone in The US had taken two groups of kids and one they praised for results other for effort, they showed that those praised for results were more likely to give up and less likely to persevere with a task because if they couldn't achieve the result why bother.

Personally I think sometimes is a tendency to over think these things and the general "too much of anything is not good for you applies". When my mum was young kids never praised, that was no good, but then swung other way into too much praise. I remember getting A for achievement and C for effort and arguing with my parents who wanted AA that if I didn't need to try harder why bother (I want to avoid that with my kids)

A bit like Onyx I was often complimented for being clever, so I grew up thinking I was not attractive. Balance I think is the key, I have felt very uncomfortable dressing up and being girly in the past despite a longing to do so, I hope with DD she gets a bit more exposure to 'girly' things so feels comfortable in range of situations. Luckily the girly, princess stuff comes naturally to my MIL so am happy for her to expose DD to that because she doesn't get it from me.