Funny things kids say & do

[~TT40~]

pmsl @ "my husband won't come to my wedding"

[Three Graces]

When toilet training DS1, he farted and then asked 'what's that poo noise'? My sister said that it's a pretty good descriptor for farts!

[Calluna]

Told DS that we had to go to the shops and get washing powder and he replied with "and dryer powder too?"

[Chrispe]

DS1 (7yo with global delay) asked his SSO at school if he could see her nipples, then proceeded to tell her " mummy's nipples are huge!" luckily the SSO knows me, has a sense of humour, and just assumed he had seen me feeding DS3.
She told me the story a couple of days later.

[Calluna]

Just now when I was carrying DS through the shops on one arm-
DS: "hold my other bum, pease Mummy?"
Me: "how many bums have you got?"
DS: "one, two. Two bums"

I finally worked out he wanted me to holds him with both arms.

[TeniBear]

Amelia's not really speaking much yet, though she can say very short phrases (don't know how that happened, but we run with it ). About ten times a day we have this conversation:

Her: (pointing) Wassat?
Me: Cat/dog/tree/bus/dodecahedron. Can you say [whatever it is]?
Her: (with a look of complete surprise akin to this emoticon - ) WHAT?!

[Beach Mama]

The other day DS was drinking juice and goes "mmmm this juice is yum mummy.... It's sick orange".... I'm like "sick orange????" " Yes mummy it's SICK ORANGE JUICE, you know!!!!" Me " oooohhhhhh you mean blood orange"

[danita]

My dd 2.5 years walks in to the lounge room last night looks at the tv and says " big brother? What the heck? Why didn't you tell me it was on?" Couldn't help but giggle then had to explain she shouldn't say what the heck. Lol

[turtleschell]

A friend of mine told me she her 3yo DD was lying down getting her nappy changed, and she stretched her arms out in relaxation and said "This is amaaaazing!"

[Mrs P]

Getting changed after a shower and DD (2.25 yrs) leans right down in front of me, looks up and says "Mummy has a big vagina". Hmm - thanks DD!

[HotI]

i just checked in on DD who was in her bedroom. She is wearing a nappy (was having a 'rest' so i had put a nappy on but she has had undies on today), carrying a handbag and has undies on her head.
"why are the knickers on your head?"
DD replied "later"
"your knickers are there so you can wear them later?"
"yep, knickers later."
ok then.

[Traveller]

Girltwin drew a picture of our family but forgot to draw DH. She went to add him and then said to me "I tried to draw Daddy but I made a mistake and drew a potato instead"

[Chocaholic]

Asked DS2 to come to me. He replied "yes, your highness". Good boy!

[Mum2SweetCs]

DD asked dh if he had boobs and dh said boys dont have boobs.

Then she said "yes they do but they just dont go down to their belly like mummys!"

Thanks!

[BellyBelly]

DS7, watching Bear Grylls... 'How come you never see the cameraman?'

Um, yes... He's my clever son

[HotI]

I offered a friend's kid some mandarin. He said "orange". I said 'it's like an orange, but it's called a mandarin". He said "you say it like this- O-range, orange"

[Mum2SweetCs]

This happened last night

DD shows me a blank piece of paper and goes "look at my rainbow mum"

I reply "wow its beautiful"

She then goes to her daddy and goes "look at my rainbow daddy"

Daddy looks at the blank paper and goes "where? I cant see it

DD replies "its a pretend rainbow. Use your imagination daddy!"

[Teeki]

DD doesn't like having her hands trapped inside her sleeves. It's a big deal when dressing her that her thumbs are fully out and she can see them. It mostly happens when DH is putting her pjs on after a bath so he's trying to do it quickly.

It's hilarious, last night he told her "I've gotta put your arms in the sleeves, they'll be out quick ok?" She did her gorgeous wide-eyed nod, so he raced to get her arms through the sleeves. But as soon as her hands are in there she's got this really worried look on her face and she's yelling "Uh oh! Uh oh!" until she can see she can see her hands