WOW!!! thank you so much for all your replies and most of for not judging me over the last few years all i have had is people telling me that its terrible of me to allow this to happen, and that she is way to old to be in my room blah blah blah......... but none of them know understand or know what and how we got to here! I really do put it down to being forced to go to her dads all the time. Its the fact she has to leave me for a few days when she really doesnt want to, so when she is home she is right by my side. she has no trouble going to school or anything like that, none of her teachers have every said anything about her behaviour at school, they are always telling how sweet and caring she is

this afternoon i picked her up from school and we went shopping, while we were walking up and down the isle i asked her, why she doesnt like sleeping in her room and she replied "because your not with me when i am in there" " i like it mum when we are together" plus "i get scared and lonely in there without you"

I keep thinking that this isnt going to last forever, so i want to lap it up while it last cos it wont be long and she will be a hormonal teenager that will want to hang with her friends instead of her mumma. And i really dont think its a great idea to force her to do this, i think that will make things worse and if anything it would break her heart if i forced her to do this. Chloe is such a great child. She isnt like other kids i am always having mums saying to me "oh i wish i had a kid like yours" because chloe is always well mannered and never speaks rudely or hurtful to anyone. she makes friends in a heart beat and she loves everyone. and she wears her heart on her sleeve, her heart breaks very easliy, she cries in movies or she will cry if she see's something very sad on the news, and this is why i cant force this to happen cos it will really really break her heart, plus it would break mine to! She truely is a wonderful gift and i am so very proud of her and love her more then life its self.

i really dont know what to do.........do i leave it and as she gets older hopefully she will want to go to her own room. or do i take it a step further and seek help professionally? i hate letting people into my world. But then we will have the problem of her sleeping in her dads bed still. She wants to sleep in his bed cos she is so scared cos i am not there and because she misses me so much she just needs someone iykwim? and i know she has this fear that when she goes to her dads, she is scared he wont let her come home when she wants too! and of course i have tried to talk to Ex about this and of course he told me to go get f'ed. he has lost her trust and i dont think he will ever get it back and so of course when its time to go over to him she goes into melt down mode a few days before going. i feel so sad and sorry for her this isnt how i wanted my little girl's life to be like. I hate myself sometimes for what she has to go through. I feel bad i should of just stayed with him so she didnt have to go through this!! i should of just stayed with him till she was much older and then left, at least she wouldnt of had to go through what she is going through now!!

thanks again for all your advise i have definantly taken it on board and will have something to think about over then next few days and thanks again for not judging me, i really really appreciate it xxx