Please help me, I do not know what to do with DD.

[Astrid]

My DD1 is pretty much the same, well worse really as it has been going on for so long.

Consistency and following through it a big thing. Something both DH and I are a bit slack on. We are good for awhile, then fall back into old habits. Sleep is another big one, the worst behaviour comes from being overtired, especially if she is hungry.

The other thing is how occupied she is. DD1 gets quite bored, she has a huge imagination and is quite physical. Due to DD2 she can't do a lot of the things she likes. She loves craft, but DD2 just messes things up. She loves the huge slides at the park, but if I take her I have a very stressful time dealing with a miserable DD2 who just can't do the same thing as her. I dearly wish Kinder had more hours, she needs so much more than what I can give.

Oh, almost forgot. Try being proactive, rather than reactive. I am not the most organised person, so often I wait to the "I'm hungry" before organising food. Not a good thing. I have had better days when I have been prepared, looked at the clock and thought "morning tea time". Same with activities. Normally I would just go and hang out the washing or into the veggie patch expecting them to follow me out. That just ends in disaster, I am called in all the time, then when I need to be in, they want to be out. So now (well I try) to give them warning to get boots on, we are going outside. If we are having a home day, then I give prior warning. If I think the week is going to be too quiet, like I know we will be home all weekend, then I try to organise a catch up with one of her little friends.

[Mak]

We're here too! I am trying to spend more time explaining stuff to DD1 - she too is pretty challenging atm. It would appear she needs to get why she can't do something rather than just a 'No'. Obviously this is not always easy but after putting a bit more time in and trying to give her prior warning things seem to be getting better.We too need plenty of predicatability and clear routine - not easy!
Astrid - you have described my DD1 almost exactly - hard work managing both, but you have made me feel better as it is happening elsewhere too!!! xx

[Liz]

Oh, almost forgot. Try being proactive, rather than reactive. I am not the most organised person, so often I wait to the "I'm hungry" before organising food. Not a good thing. I have had better days when I have been prepared, looked at the clock and thought "morning tea time". Same with activities.

Yes, agree with this. But I too am slack and wait for the I'm hungry.. then I get cranky at the way he's demanding food from me LOL. Hunger and tiredness play a BIG part. DS actually slept from before 6pm last night until 7.30 this morning. Didn't really wake up any happier for it LOL.. but I said to DH we need to be more strict with bedtime now that he's not sleeping through the day anymore, cos it's playing a big part... and he obviously needed to catch up since he had such a big sleep.

But yayayay at us not being alone with these cranky 4 year olds! hahah. *hugs* all round!

[Traveller]

I have just gone through this with DS1 (aged 5). Apparently all kids go through a hormone surge at this age which can affect their moods so we explained this to him, and that he might find it hard sometimes but6 it is ok to be angry just not ok to hit his siblings. We also got called into the school about his behaviour there so between school and home we formulated a plan of watching for his anger starting to show, and giving him a chance to vocalise what was going on. He started hitting cushions instead of his brothers, which was great, and now will tell us if we have upset him (by telling him off) instead of just screaming so that we can talk about the situation.

We also linked his pocketmoney to behaviour at school and home, and pushed back his bedtime from 7.30 - 8, to 7ish. All things combined we got our lovely boy back within a month or so and hopefully he has some coping mechanisms in place for the future too.

I hope some of what we did helps your daughter, best of luck

T
xx

[Astrid]

Yes, agree with this. But I too am slack and wait for the I'm hungry.. then I get cranky at the way he's demanding food from me LOL.

Should have followed my own advice today, was to busy with paperwork stuff and then they got hungry. One problem when DD1 is hungry is that she is more fussy, is I just make it she eats it, but once she asks for food she wants specific things and is so impatient for it to be made.