You know, I am fortunate to live in a country where I have a choice. Not just to go to work or not ( I do - 3 days a week) but that I don't have to choose to feed one child or the other because I have enough for both. Choices regarding all the other aspects of my parenting are a bonus really compared to that. I feel blessed to be able to work in a job I love, to have support around me, to have lovely child care that my kids love, to have a husband who would support me in a flash if I said I wanted to stay at home full time, who would support me in a flash if I said I wanted to work full time and parents who are a very important part of my village.

Anyone who comments about working/not working is usually projecting their own situation - I know a ex co-worker of mine couldn't understand how anyone would stay at home because she felt for her own sake that she had to go to work from 6 weeks with both for 1-2 days a week. Could I do that? No. Did I think she loved her boys less than I love my kids? No. Did she think less of me for staying home for 8 mths then 18 mths - nope.

Thing is we all do what is right for our family. As I have gotten older (and wiser ) I have realised how little I really care about what others think of me and the way I parent just like I don't think any less of others who parent differently to me, because on the whole I have realised that we all do what we do because that is what we want to do and we are doing what WE think is what is best for OUR family. Nobody else other than DH can really, truly tell me what they think is best in OUR situation (funny that).

Parents close to me might share opinions ideas and I can vent about how working drives me crazy at times, but how being home with the kids full time drives me crazy on holidays and then we laugh because that's just me. Anyone who is truly critical and somehow offended by what I do for MY family isn't actually a friend, and if people who are acquaintances give me unwanted advice at times, I nod and ignore or disagree and move on.

As a parent you realise from pregnancy onwards, that you will always get advice from anyone and everyone and you really do just take it with a grain of salt and try hard to not get offended or take things as absolute gospel or you spend your whole time as a parent either angry and upset with people, double guessing yourself or doubting yourself, all of which really isn't worth it.

I also think you have no idea what peoples finances are like behind closed doors, how much debt they have or don't have. My DH makes a very decent income, but my income means that I can buy nice things for the kids, nice things for all of us, we can go on holidays, we can occasionally splurge on things like FOTZ memberships, rib eye for dinner etc.

Anyhoo waffled on (red wine in hand - can you tell ) but I guess all of that novel summed up is - do whatever you want and who cares what anyone else thinks!