I don't think its about being selfish or rich... I think its about you personally and what your expectations/limits/lifestyle/choices are.

DH & I have always wanted a big family - many hurdles to this stage (with IVF) but we're on track now
We'll look at trying for #3 around this time next year... we would prob have started trying already if we didn't need the help of IVF and its $6500 a try price tag

We're on the same page as far as wanting to have me at home permanently... we're lucky we have a business that can provide for us to do that financially... but at the same time, we've made a few changes in choices recently.

For example - DS1 starts high school next year & we have had him enrolled for a private school - the fees are really pricey, but for him and our situation, this school is whats best for him in our opinion.
To be able to afford to send him & for me to stay at home, something has to give, and so we're looking at moving house soon and dropping our weekly rent to free up a little money.

We choose to rent for now, as a mortgage would mean for me to need to work... and whilst the 'Great Australian Dream' of owning your own home is fantastic, for us, we've prioritised and Lukes schooling and me to be a stay at home parent is more important right now.

There are many other things as well... these are examples - but you get the point!

DH & I used to live quite a lavish lifestyle when it was just Luke and before 8yrs of IVF treatment, lol.... and whilst we don't live it up like we did, we still live quite nicely.

I think its important to weigh up what you want as far as a bigger picture, and find the balance... whatever works for you.

DH & I still go away every year for our anniversary, we still have lovely things, the boys don't miss out.... but we do live on the coast, which is not what we both would choose if money wasn't a concern.
We used to live in Neutral Bay in Sydney which is ridiculously expensive & pretentious... but we loved it
The decision to have a big family does not allow for living in Neutral Bay though, I'm afraid
So we moved up here and found the balance... still close enough to the city to be able to visit friends and shop in decent areas - just an hour drive on the freeway rather than sitting in traffic

Its not a secret we both struggle a little with living here, but we have a nice house and a backyard with a pool & a dog, and room for everything... as opposed to being squished & limited in a unit in the city...

Its worth the sacrifice though for whats more important to us

A lot of rambling, but hoping you see my point