I'm not saying I don't snap - I have done. But I don't tell my son off for being upset when I've snapped. Instead I say sorry, give him a cuddle (even when I've had so much physical touch it is painful for me - lack of it is painful for DS and I can regulate better) and ask him to cry quietly while I finish what I'm doing. It works.

Even when I sit back and think "what happened" I still know that if my actions lead to my child crying I should apologise, just as I expect Liebling to apologise when I am hurt by his actions.