Firstly - I apologise if this subject is distressing for some.

As a new mum with her first live baby I am wondering if my anxiety is normal for my history or if it is more exaggerated than normal and something I need to monitor or talk to someone about.

At the moment I have a fear that this heaven I am experiencing will suddenly explode and something will happen to my baby. This extends beyond just the fear of SIDS and includes accidents and other injuries to my baby, either caused by me or someone else (but I have no thoughts of wanting to harm him, just that I will be the cause of the accident ie driving the car etc)

After Caitlyn, I experienced an increase in anxiety over those near to me getting hurt / dying. As this pregnancy progressed I felt a similar anxiety that increased as the due date got closer. When Mum and Dad were driving to or from our home I felt quite anxious about their safety. When DH left for work I felt anxious about him travelling etc.

Now that this little one has arrived safely I worry about him dying. I am somewhat hyper-vigilant (I am sleeping ok but waking when he is due to feed and fearful if he sleeps through beyond this time) but I really find it worse when I am on my own. I just spent a week with family but still found it stressful because I worried about something happening to him while he was away from DH. I also worry about their safety and that something will happen to them.

I am managing the fear of him dying by having him in our room to sleep and almost 50% of the time co-sleeping with him tucked in next to me, for at least some part of the night even if he starts in his bassinette. I guess this disrupts my sleep (although I am still getting 2-3 hours at a time) but I catch a deep sleep session when I give him to someone else to watch, because they are awake and able to monitor him (my thinking process). I even find him sleeping in the car seat worrying because I can't see he is breathing (I do have a mirror to watch him). I have to check him when he is asleep in the hug a bub to make sure he is breathing on occasion too

I know I had anxiety after Caitlyn that seemed to mostly resolve but I am not sure if this current feeling is healthy. I guess I am after feedback as to whether I am losing the plot, experiencing a normal process after a stillbirth or whether this is getting a little more serious and needing professional intervention to deal with this anxiety before it get worse.

ETA Mods - please feel free to move this if it is in the incorrect section. Thank you