Michelle i've only had early losses, and yet i frequently imagine terrible accidents involving my DD. Yesterday, walking along the (safety-railed and VERY safe) riverfront to her dad's house, i was planning what i would do if a gang of ruffians threw her, buggy and all, into the river - there was not a person in sight, rough or otherwise, and yet my heart was pounding, my knuckles were white on the buggy handles, i felt faintly sick. I KNEW it wasn't real, but where my daughter is concerned my mind is fantastically quick at pre-empting random harm and psyching me for it.

When she was small i didn't panic about it, but i too would pause with her in the hug a bub and take a breath to feel her pressed against me and ensure she was breathing, i still check on her at night if i feel i should.

Ina May Gaskin (Midwife and natural childbirth/parenting advocate and generally wonderful for women woman) says that the "check on baby" response is natural and part of your mothers intuition and to listen to it. Your instincts allow you to mother well, let them do that.

As for if it's "crazy" or excessive - only you can answer that - do you like to co-sleep (i did) and feel your child safe in your arms, or would you rather you were able to get through the night with you in your own sleeping places. I would say that only at the point when the anxiety is affecting your life negatively and making you do things you're unhappy about it might be a problem. If it's just a case of wanting the baby to be safe and well then no, i don't think you are abnormal, i think you're an intuitive and loving mother.

B