oh Michelle- big hugs. I put my hand up to being an obsessive baby checker and for having 'irrational' but NORMAL fears too. I think it is very normal and many of the mums in my support group admit to doing this too.

It is part of the ongoing grief process and also a bit of mother's intuition - natural for all mums to be protective of our young.

I STILL check the twins more than I should but I can't help it. I have to do it to stay sane (as insane as it feels).
I agree 100% with Tiggy.

I still do it but the first few months I did it all day - I check to see and feel if then are breathing - did it several times today and I do it overnight with them sleeping next to me. I don't really think it is irrational it makes me feel safe (sane) and reassures me a little longer.

I was exactly the same with my Husband and son after Charlotte died too. I imagined the worst case senarios ... Ds sleeping over and house fires , even DH crossing the road -DS being abducted ... his first day of Y6 - I was waiting outside, watching him catch the bus (from our back fence -across vacant land next door about 40- 50m) and I turned my back for a minute ...then I couldn't see him and kids were boarding the bus. So I got in the car and followed the bus all the way to school via a long route to make sure he was actually on the bus and hadn't been snatched.

Deb - I agree with you too - as a paed nurse I was obsessive back then too and when we adopted our DS at 13months too. I even did it with children (5 & 7) I babysat at 18yrs and my cousins.

I think that this comes with our oc nursing habits somewhat speaking only for myself of course! ) I could hardly believe that I had birthed this perfect little human. I too was sure she would be taken away.
Snap !

Michelle - I think if it interferes with you being able to do your normal 'things' ~housework, go out, sleeping etc it wouldn't be a bad idea to speak to someone. I found it didn't change anything when I spoke to psychologist about my irrational fears for DS .. he said - if it made me so worried don't let him go ...(in that instance it was away for Easter with family (@ almost 13). I did let him go but worried whole time.

I never got a monitor ... didn't trust them as much as myself but with twins it was complicated ...unless we used monitors with the sticky 'dots' and leads like apnoea ones. Thinking of you - Oscar is adorable.