Hi Michelle

I'm usually a 'lurker' on bellybelly, but I really feel for where you're at at the moment, so wanted to share my experience.

I'm 37yo and currently 39 weeks pregnant after a missed miscarriage in June last year. My nuchal fold scan result was well within the normal range at 1.3mm but my blood test results and maternal age put me in the 'high risk' category with a ratio of 1:220.

As much as my husband and I desperately wanted this baby, making the decision to have an amnio and the risk of miscarriage associated with it, while still difficult, was something I knew I had to do. I work for an organisation which provides day care services to people with physical and intellectual disabilities including Down Syndrome, and while there are many wonderful parents and carers out there who live with children with this syndrome every day and do an outstanding job, I personally knew that I could not do it myself. There are so many things to consider including other or future siblings, the possible impact on your relationship with your husband, other family members, and who will care for this child when you are no longer around.

I had huge guilt issues in thinking this decision through. Were we being selfish? Was a child with Down Syndrome any less of a gift than a child without it when it was sometrhing we both wanted so badly? For me it was really important to find a technician who would do the amnio with personal statistics that were better than the global ones associated with amnio. The clinic where I had the amnio done here in Melbourne was fantastic and I was so surpirsed at how quick and painless the procedure was.

One thing I would definitely recommend is that if you can, get the 'FISH' results. This process provides you with results within 24-48 hours rather than having to wait up to 2 weeks. You do pay extra (appx $120) which you cannot claim back from insurance or Medicare, but it is well worth it, rather than worrying yourself sick for the longer period.

The amnio results are 100% conclusive and not only provide a result for Down Syndrome but also for Trisomy 18 and Trisomy 13 ( I think off the top of my head). If you want to you can also find out the sex of your baby from the result.

We found out we are having a healthy baby girl and I would definitely do the same again next pregnancy. At the end of the day, you need to do what is best for you and your husband and absolutely talk through with him everything you're both feeling. I would be more than happy to share more of my experience if you're interested.

Best wishes!!