Hey I am another long term engagee here DP and I have been together 10 years in November and engaged prob'ly the last 4??? It's been so long it's hard to keep track. Initially we had heaps of questions from family and friends about 'when' and 'have we set a date?' and all of that. As time has gone on, it is only the diehard friends that we don't see very often that continue to raise the issue of setting a date. It just hasn't been a huge priority - it will definitely happen one day though. We do have plans but they will probably not be realised for a couple of years yet! I agree with Shell, DP and I have two mortgages now and a bub on the way. It's not that different to marriage and feels like a lifelong commitment to me.

Thankfully with no. 1 on the way, no one has started that stuff up again for us (although we have only really told immediate family and a couple of v. close friends so far). I would say that if family or friends persist in asking about a future wedding and they want details or start telling you their ideas (like the Fiji thing) then it says more about them/their needs or wants, than it does about you (that's what I found anyway). True friends will accept your relationship status and the priorities you have after minimal discussion.