To find out the sex or not to find out the sex.. bub#2

[Frangipani]

We had a surprise for our first born, which was so exciting. That announcement and anticipation was such a wonderful feeling. Through the pushing stage i kept thinking we're about to find out what we have. I think it helped distract me a little.

With our second we decided to find out. As our first was a boy and i felt i needed to prepare myself for if it wasn't a girl, which it wasn't- so it helped me to know and try to get over the disappointment. I didn't want to cry the day DS2 was born- so this did help. Also i had sooo many boys clothes from DS1 and my cousins clean out- and wanted to know whether we needed to pass it onto a friend who was having a boy or keep for us- obviously we had to keep it for us. This time though it wasn't quite the same at the birth. They still did the 'its a boy'- but it wasn't as exciting.

We'll probably/hopefully in for a round 3 (in a few years though) and at this stage i think we'll let it be a surprise, even if it is another boy- which i feel it would end up being.

If your not sure yet, maybe see if you can get them to write it down and then you's can open it at 30 or 35 weeks. Or if you think it'll help you MIL and she can keep a secret just let her open it and then when your ready to know she can tell you.

Goodluck with your decision.

[Eng]

Not sure what to do... I feel I need DH to step and tell me no. lol

I thought about waiting until my 38 week scan... But then bub will almost be there so there is really no point.

Oh I want the surprise but I think I need a back bone.. lol

Thank you so much for sharing your stories... Ill let you know what I decide..

[*Beema*]

We found out with DD, but kept it off the forums and just between DH and I, and for us I am very glad we did it as DH suffered from GD and he took it really hard as he was certain it was a boy...

We will be finding out again this time for the same reason, if it is a girl DH can go through the GD then rather than when bub arrives. Last time he didn't speak to me for a whole week
Hopefully this time it won't matter as much....

Why not get it written down and put in an envelope then you can chose to decide whether to look or not, and if you do make it over a lovely dinner or the like

[Cassius2]

I thought about waiting until my 38 week scan... But then bub will almost be there so there is really no point.

Oh I want the surprise but I think I need a back bone.. lol

but it is still a suprise at 20 weeks! DH and I went out after the scan with DD2 and celebrated at the local cafe and then went out and bought something special, just for her....loved it.

(oh, we found out both times love to know!)

p.s. our compromise this time (to keep some things a surprise!) is to keep the name of this baby a secret. that way, no judgements, keeps the family happy that they have something to guess about and we can feel like the cat that got the milk....our little secret!

[Brotherly_Love <3]

I wanted to know and found out with my first - no regrets.

My second I wanted a surprise. The dad wanted to know... and with things so up and down between us, and his drinking problem I decided in the end it was probably just best for me to find out at the scan... cause either way the dad was going to find out... and I knew if he were to tell me in a drunken slip then I would have lost it big time at him. So I found out to save arguements. In a way I'm glad I did, cause I had huge gender disappointment problems.... which in a way I know I wouldn't have had, had I have not found out. I'm still hung up whether or not I should or shouldn't have found out.

If I were ever to have another baby though, I wouldn't find out. I'd want a surprise.. I want that whole movie scene drama of the unveiling of the blankets after they've been on your chest for a while with it's a ..... lol

[belfie]

ooh it's a tricky one - GL making your decision.

With my first PG, I didn't want to know, but that was a m/c.
With my second PG, I changed my mind and did want to know. So we found out at 20 weeks and didn't tell anyone we knew.... but we told EVERY stranger the entire waiting room at our scan knew!! And I told here on BB. Tbh I had really wanted a girl, but when I saw my little boy on the screen my heart melted - it was the best thing I ever did. Poor DH was petrified I'd be disappointed but I was just in love , I had never realised that finding out early would be so powerful, I felt I really bonded with him. After a big scare at 21.5 weeks (were told we'd lose him) we told a couple of two family members. It was nice being able to share it with them. He was named by about 21 weeks and we used his name throughtout the PG, and confirmed it within 2 nanoseconds of his birth!

This time, I was hoping for a girl to round out our family - so we decided to find out again. Because my DH told everyone after DS's birth that we knew about DS but kept it secret, we couldn't really do that again! So now we know it's a girl... and we've told the WORLD! DH was joking that I'll take out a 2 page ad in the paper. I never thought I'd enjoy telling during the PG but I love it. It's fantastic to share it before the work of having a new baby to look after! I'm getting to talk to my work colleagues, neighbours, friends... everyone and to enjoy hearing their happiness for us. And i"m talkign to people who I wouldn't necessarily see in the first month or so after the birth - after which time the surprise of the announcement has worn off. I also feel that each time it gives me time to bond and come to terms with it. My main concession to uncertainty is to get the gender double checked a few times, just to make sure!! So saying, I've already named my darling bundle this time too

I think it's such a personal thing, but I have to say, I love love love knowing and telling maybe I'm just a blabbermouth

[Eng]

aww thank you ladies...

I think if we did find out one of us would let it slip like last time.. I do want to know but I dont want the world to know (except bb world. lol) With DD I found it so nice bonding with her and calling her by her name that I feel if I dont know this time I might miss out on that extra bonding before birth.. I like saying good morning ........... and I love you ......... But the surprise at the end of the birth... Im sure that is so amazing and wonderful on so many levels...

We spoke again about it yesterday and DH can change is mind with the wind or with some convincing so it comes down to me. What do I want!!! grrrr lol

Im booking my scan today Im so excited...

[nickle730]

Eng, when I was pg with my DD we used both 'he' and 'she'. We warned people before we even knew what she was that we would be doing that. So if you mess up and use the true pronoun just use the other one in the next sentence. You could do the same with names is you are going to refer to your baby by name, have a male and female name and use them both!