Hi Rylansmum and also all you other lovely ladies who have been in similar situations. I am not in the same situation but I do feel a loss. My Dad died when I was 9, and at these times I miss him a lot. Around my wedding was hard, as it just felt that he should be there and no one understood as he had been gone for so long. And now I feel a great loss that my child will not have a grandpa on my side,not even for a day. I feel ripped off and v sad.
However, there are elements of my Dad that do live on, through me. I know I have trits of his, looks of his etc and that helps me. I am sure some of these will be passedon to my kids too. I intend to give my 1st son my Dad's name as a middle name too.
It doesnt help me that my parents were going thru a messy divorce at the time and I do not have any bros as sisters so i dont really have anyone else to share happy or any memories with. But I will try to instil a sense of my Dad in my kids, i think it is important and I miss having a Dad.
Take the opportunity to have photos and memories for your baby to see as they get older, and as sad as it is that your Mum may not meet your little one, she will be a part of its life through its genetics and your wonderful and loving memories. I like the idea of a letter (or a few letters) for your little one too - you do have that opportunity.
I am thinking of you.