Tegan i just noticed we live in the same town...thats pretty cool....im sorry to hear your story it is pretty scary how similar our stories are, and i can understand how you are still in denial and trying to deal with it.
I find myself putting it to the back of my mind and not dealing with it because i have DS around 24-7 and i am sure with 2 littlies it is even easier to push how you feel aside and deal with all their needs before your own.
Take care i hope you feel better soon
Rylansmum