Hi everybody thank you so much for your kind words and warm wishes, it is good to be able to read other peoples experiences and see that it is possible to get through it all.
I would love to take photos or make a video but she is so self concious about how she looks i dont think she will agree to do it let alone be able to actually talk...we can bearly get through her touching my belly without both of us in tears.
The hardest thing to deal with is she was in remission when i fell and we have been shopping together and looking at all the beautiful little pink stuff we can buy etc plus she is a knitter so even before we found out it was a girl she was knitting pink outfits etc i think she was trying to jinx me into having a girl lol
When we found out it had come back it was all of a sudden and there was nothing else they could do, so she went downhill really fast and we havnt had an opportunity to have her healthy enough to take photos etc.
We have decided on naming the baby Ashlyn Frances...Frances being my mums name, i couldnt imagine naming her anything else.

I have spoken to the midwives about the situation and i have previously had PND so i was automatically referred to a counsellor but as she was healthy and ok up until just after Xmas i havnt felt the need to talk to anyone as i didnt believe we were going to lose her so quickly, i have alot of family to support me i am the 2nd youngest of 6, with 8 nieces and 3 nephews my baby being number 13 and my older sister is 22 weeks pregnant so that will be number 14!! So we are our own support group lol.

Kerrie L... I just want to mention that i didnt get diagnosed with PND until Rylan was 18 months old i just didnt want to admit there was something wrong with me but once i actually confided in my Dr it was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and things started to feel better just because i knew that there was a reason i felt that way, even if it isnt PND it may help talking to someone who is unbiased and doesnt really come to the conclusion before actually hearing what you have to say....good luck to you and feel free to vent and get it all out because its amazing how good you feel after i good cry lol

Thank you again to all of you for your thoughts and well wishes
Rylansmum