Give your DH a big kick up the bum for me. Tell him to write the letter and start the complaint process if he is soo determined you should. I understand that when you are that far along it can all get to be a bit too much, and takes so much time and energy fighting something - even if you do feel that some part of you does want to fight it. As for his complaint about being the driver - boohoo - tell him to try being the passenger when you are in labour: it is no walk in the park.
ill make this quick as im on hubbys comp and his key board doesnt work properly, ill follow up on my comp later
the hospital already told ,me even if i loose weight they wont take me
hubby said sorry, said he is stressed which i knew and said he didnt say very nice things
but still says this is all 1 sided and i only think bout myself
and i cant afford the homebirth as the bbay bonus is being used to buy a second car
i dont feel like myself anymore, i have lost the happy person i once was, i just want me back
hubby says he doesnt like this fighting all becasue of the hospital
Well what sort of an apology is that!? Just forget about what he is up to. As for buying a second car on the Baby bonus, why does he need two, you can only drive one at a time, and the $5000 is paid fortnightly.
I would say why not just investigate Home birth as an option as they others have suggested, and I would just ignore your hubby and keep putting yourself first, after all you have another little person on board there at the moment.
Just take one step at a time, call the complaints person at Redlands, or write. Explain more about your personal situation as well, and say you really need their help. They should then get on board with assisting you. I know at the RBWH they said to call them for ANYTHING, including seeing a social worker about my relationship and that they would organise one to mediate between my partner and I, as he has OCD issues.
If you're going to complain then start off by knowing the facts. Get a copy of the policy. It seems wrong to me that they are saying that EVEN IF you lose weight, they will not take you. Getting a copy of the policy should help with knowing whether they can actually do this or not.
Don't write a complaint before getting hold of the policy.
I think do nothing for a few days and see how you feel then.
I do think it's completely do-able to lose weight if you make some dietary changes. I was not able to exercise through my pregnancy at all because I couldn't walk due to SPD and had to use a wheelchair for anything more than 50 metres. I also had gestational diabetes but only put on 3kg throughout the entire pregnancy so really and truly, it is completely possible.
As for your weight, One BMI point is difficult to "just lose" even for someone who is not pregnant and you need to concentrate on your health and your baby's health. If you concentrate on eating healthy and light exercise (nothing too drastic) and you lose weight thats ok, but concentrating on weight loss while you're growing a baby could be a total head wreck.
See if you can get an assessment at your hospital for the risks for YOU, BMI is a rubbish measure of weight, most personal trainers at the gym are obese due to muscle mass.
The main reason they are starting to institute these policies are due to risks in theatre. Ask if you can have a anaesthetic appointment so they can look at your airway etc. It may be that they don't think its as much of a problem as this flawed number seems to indicate. At the very least you'll get a better explanation of their side of things which might help a little.
If you do go down the "talk to the hospital route, arm yourself with as much information as possible, a copy of the policy is a good idea with a repsonse from you, maybe an IM could help you with this?"
If your DH is anything like mine, if you keep him up to date with how you are and how hard this is for you, he may just need some processing time. BUt I hope he comes through with a real apology and support soon.
Take care and I hope you can find a solution that suits everyone.
x
emc- we need the second car because we only have a 7 seater and this baby will make us a family of 8
fiona- thats what i was trying to do, just leave it a few days not think about it, but he wants me to send of this letter, and its wasnt a complaint letter, i was just asking to have my case be reviwed, but he wants me to complain.
Polly, i worked out that being over the bmi by 1 point, ment it was 5-6 kilos, and they took my bmi at 16 weeks pregnant, so not fair!
i was trying to come to terms with this, just accept the hospitals decision, but it seems to have divided my husband and myself, its shouldnt be like this, we are supposed to be enjoying this baby, not fighting cause the hospital wont let me bith there
OK, why don't you try to buy yourself some time and tell him you want to get a copy of the policy before complaining because you need to know whether you're complaining about their interpretation of the policy or the policy itself.
Messaged you on FB, but wanted to show support here too.
This is about you. Duh! Its Not him going through labour.
ETA: My DH had to drive me an hour down the freeway in labour when there was a hospital 5 minutes up the road because I was categorised as high risk. So yeah, speaking from experience here.
Oh hon that totally sucks. Others have suggested it and I agree, if you really want to birth at that hospital maybe you could loose that little bit of weight. Many woman have to watch what they are eating if they had GD and because of that they don't gain weight or loose some so I'm sure you could too. You've got plenty of time to give it a go anyway. If the other hospital really isn't a problem then maybe your husband will just have to get used to it. Is traffic really the problem? It seems a little irrational to me? Unless you pop your babies out in 30 mins than I don't see what the worry is to drive a little further. So sorry you are having the drama xoxo
Sorry hon, just saw your post about the hospital not accepting you even if you do loose the weight. Maybe you can find out if the hospital policy is to not birth woman of a certain weight on the day they labour or if it's a case of a woman being a certain BMI at 17 week etc Surely there is a loop hole?
Last edited by Cherished; February 7th, 2011 at 05:36 PM.
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