I am so fed up with everything and starting to think bubs will be better on the outside world than inside me. I have had such a horrible time of things and the last two things that have gone wrong are out of my control but i keep thinking if i have bubs at least i can control things a little more than i can now. Even if it means waiting another 2wks to have her i would just be glad to have half my life back and some routine back for the other two.