Perfect Birth = Happy/Healthy/Well Baby + Happy/Healthy/Well Mum

It doesnt matter how your baby comes out the thing that matters most is that you and your baby are well, happy and healthy.

With my DD I thought 'nope no drugs'. After ten hours of oxytocin induced contractions (need it as BP was too high to wait any longer and it was MY choice - my Obstetrician advised not ordered it and final decision was mine) ravaging my body from ten minutes after they put the drugs in and only dilating 1cm, I decided to have an epidural (I am allergic to pethidine and pass out on gas) and I couldnt handle the pain anymore. I am very grateful that I had a qualified Obstetrician who came in and delivered my beautiful daughter who is totally unaffected by how she came into this world. I cannot praise enough the wonderful midwives and my Obstetrician who let/enabled ME to make the choices, who encouraged me, who kissed me and hugged me at the end and in total, respected my wishes as a birthing mother.

Doulacara - I am sorry you had a negative experience with an Obstetrician but not all of them are like the one you experienced. I cant agree with you when you say "But I do believe that the very nature of obstetrics sees birth not as a normal function with great natural variability that is celebrated, but as a potential tragedy that should be feared." My Obstetician and midwives celebrated my birthing process with me, encouraged me to make my choices and as a result of my very positive experience in a large Hospital environment, I no longer have any fear of giving birth the second time around.

As for me, with this little baby growing in my tummy, if I need drugs, I wont wait so long this time, if I need a c/s then I will have one (although from the huge amounts of reading I have done it would need to be a strong medical reason for me to have one - but that is MY choice).

There is no definition of a perfect birth. Each individual has the right to choose. One persons experience may not necessarily suit another and we have to respect every body's right to approach their pregnancy, birthing and parenthood in the manner in which they see fit for themselves. So come on ladies, stop pressuring each other and let each individual decide for themselves what their OWN perfect birth will be.