I had a homebirth (NOT drugfree, i used the gas and air for an hour or so AND i had the sintocin for the 3rd stage) and i copped it from all sides. I am really scared of hospitals and the medical research and factual evidence told me that i was as safe at home as in hospital so long as everything was normal. I had no reason to think it wouldn't be normal so i went ahead.

For ME i had a perfect birth.

I was changed by a profound experience of personal strength and power and satisfaction. Everything about me is different. I lost 20kg after birth, began running and hitting the gym, left my broken relationship, i was truly empowered and instead of saying as i had been for years "can i?" i began yelling "i CAN!" and got out of my life's rut pronto. My DD and i got off to the best possible start and so many challenges and issues since then i have been able to meet head on because i really really believe in myself and my capabilities. My body feels better than ever before (i'm even more orgasmic) and my sex drive is through the roof.

If another woman had to have a c-section to get those feelings and that outcome then i think she should absolutely go for it, i just HAPPEN not to personally know anyone who had that outcome from a surgical birth. Of COURSE there are births where women and babies will DIE unless a section is performed, like those with placental abruption or praevia or those who have CPD and have been pushing for 3 hours with the baby still not even engaged and getting distressed. But i don't advise my friends (who have ASKED for advice, i will discuss if asked and advice if SPECIFICALLY asked, but don't tell pregnant women on buses to have homebirths just because i did) on the worst possible outcomes. It's like someone asking for a tissue to blow their nose and you telling them, with the tissue, what to do if they blow and have a haemorrhage from a sinus artery!

You can only get your own perfect birth. The chances are that for many many women my idea of perfect won't fit, but if someone asks i'm not going to say i think they should go into hospital and have a ton of drugs and surgery because in MY experience, the ONLY experience i have, homebirth works and feels fantastic. If they have medical issues which require immediate intervention to save their life or their baby, asking a friend what to do is madness.

Someone saying that being told how they could have avoided their outcome is annoying worries me a little. If you had an unhappy time wouldn't you like to know how to avoid it next time? Or are people really replying to "I had a wonderful beautiful birth and i'm really happy with it" with "here's how to have it better next time.."? If someone asks me about an injury they got exercising and i know how they can avoid it next time i ABSOLUTELY tell them, because i don't want them to keep getting hurt when it's avoidable. I think it was Einstein who said the definition of madness is doing the same things over and over and expecting to get different results.