Pressure to Have the "Perfect Birth"

[Smoke Jaguar]

If a 'bully' is someone who wishes for people to avoid unnecessary trauma and unpleasantness, so be it How odd! It seems women are more prepared to accept the fear of god than to be told they can have better than that! The Business of Being Born addresses this very thing.
I would never be grateful to anyone who led me to believe that birth is a traumatic affair that is best left to doctors. I am grateful to those who helped me achieve what I did and I still resent the horror-storytellers, to this day. Take your pick!

[Trillian]

Look, I largely agree with you, but you are simply more likely to get people to see you POV if you don't come across as being so militant. I find a gently-gently approach works for me.

[Smoke Jaguar]

Yes, you're right. Some people will see me as militant, others will just see me as I do - being upfront and honest about explaining my reality without being afraid of how others will judge me (and I know they will, I'm just not afraid of it). Gently-gently often lets a lot of women down, too and I'm satisfied with my approach for now (I was never one to say "I'm not a feminist, but..." )

[Trillian]

You can take the 'in your face' or militant approach if you want to, that's fine if that's what your personality is, but you can't honestly be surprised when you realise that some people don't take too kindly to that type of approach. I know I can hear a lot better when I'm not being *shouted* at.

You have to choose your mode of delivery (no pun intended) when it comes to sharing the knowledge you have. Maybe my approach wont work all the time either, and I don't have an issue with taking a harder stance if I have to, but come on, you have to admit that people are more receptive to your ideas when you are at least nice about it. Part of education is building a rapport with them, make them want to listen to what you have to say, not force them to. And after all that you have to accept that some women just don't want to listen that that is completely fine, because its not your life they are living it is theirs and they have to WANT to change it for themselves, not be told they have to because they are naive and uneducated.

I don't imagine that you, Mayaness, would take too kindly to someone bursting your bubble, so maybe that can be respected in others?

[scooby]

This is such an interesting thread and as i have had afew sleepless nights over this id like to share, it a bit of a long sorry:
I had aperfect preg with DS with no hickups til the birth i ended up with a nasty 3rd degree tear which took monthes to repair and years to get over, my son popped his lung and ended up in special care for 3 days and not sure if its connected but 1.5 years of fertility treatment with induction, insemination and finally IVF, i should point out that i study natural medicine and tried everything in my power before medical intervention. I fell preg last year and ended up with an ectopic, more medical intervention, and the loss of my tube!
The ob and midwife who birthed my son said CS next time, the ob i saw for my ectopic said CS, my new ob is saying CS, not only beacuse of last time, but it is anatomical and because of my mothers history of bowel prolapse! I have tried in vain to get information and cannot get anything unbiased, i read that you say everyone is all about intervention, drugs, obs etc. but my experience has been the opposite, even when i posted in a "so called" CS support forum i got inudated with all the risks involved with CS when i was asking for help. Im sorry but i find the web is an open slather for CS vigiliantes who want to preach what they think is best, if anyone made me feel bad and depressed for my so called "elective" it is these people! I realise there are risks believe me im well educated on them, but for me there is risks in VB and i realise your probably thinking im saving my own skin and its not whats best for my baby. Well unlike my mum i want to go camping and hiking and play sport without worrying about incontinence, or worst case senerio having a coloscopy bag!! I could go on and on, but the strongest point in all this that i want to make is that as women we should support each others choices NOT subject one another to our own strong opinions, it is these strong view points that play on our minds on those sleepless nights and at those times when we are feeling low. Isnt it so wonderful today that we have a choice and that maternal and paternal death rates are so much lower than they were years ago. Live and let live!