I had friends in a similar situation. They got the sonographer to write it down on a piece of paper and put it into an envelope. Hubby could then decide later on, if he really wanted to know. Turned out that he waited til their baby was born. I think it's hard though if one partner finds out, b/c it's impossible not to let slip 'he' or 'she' into conversation. Discussing names is also going to be a giveaway. Could you maybe both find out (and not tell everybody so you don't get a load of pink clothes)? Maybe tell people that you didn't end up finding out (so that people don't pester you).