Reasons for not finding out the sex at the 20 week ultrasound

[zilly]

I said he could find out and not tell me, but he said he would be telling everyone. and also he said he wouldn't be able to keep it a secret

Also its harder to not let people know about it as I am inviting the grandmothers to the 20 week u/s so if we find out they will too, (and they are both blabber mouths)

[Elocin]

I'm having the same issue - although the other way around. DH is deadset on NOT finding out, whereas I think it will help it become more 'real' to me and allow to bond a bit more. DH has 2 girls from a previous relationship, so I'm scared that if I have a girl, it won't be as exciting for him... which is ridiculous, but hey... don't argue with a sick, pregnant lady

I'm terrible at keeping a secret though, the only way it would be able to work is if I just pretend to everyone that I didn't know. DH would be the only who knew that I knew itms?

In saying all of that, my bump has popped in the last week or so and the kicks have started, so it's become more 'real' for me... as my scan date gets closer, I'm actually leaning away from finding out.

Perhaps once your DH feels the baby kick it will become more real for him and asisst with bonding?

[Lolpigs]

I didn't find out and hubby wanted to. Mostly because I didn't really care about the sex of the baby, so long as it is healthy I haven't been fussed. My husband didn't seem too concerned when I didn't want to know. He just tells me now it's a boy becuase I didn't find out and that's what he wants LOL

I agree, about the bit of paper, but your hubby should also respect your wishes if you dont' want the world to know before the baby is born. I agree with the kicking, it helped hubby and he plays with the baby already chasing it's feet around my belly, thinking its very funny when the baby boots me becuase it's feet are being tickled LOL

EVERYONE else in the family wants to know, so now everyone is guessing the sex of the baby which is funny, and also seems to be helping them bond more with the baby before it's born.

I too dont care for the stigma of boys in blue and girls in pink, even if we do have a girl there won't be much pink. I also personally didn't care for how people place expectations on a child, just due to sex (ie girls have to be fairy cakes and boys being "boys") so this way noone can place any expectations on the baby before it's born, it can just be and be loved IYKWIM?

Also, it means I have something else to tell people when the baby is born, quite a few times I've seen people tell everyone the sex, and name of the baby so the excitement around the birth is dulled becuase everyone already knows.

Anyway just my thoughts Good luck whatever you decide!

[Me+him+bub]

we dont know what we are having and am so glad we waited coz it is getting really exciting now wondering what it is and knowing in 2-3 weeks time! also a friend of mine convinced me when she said that it is the last real surprise in your life.

[RhiChiChi]

It's a great surprise when you are told by whoever delivers bubs what the sex is!
You get all gender specific clothes & items as gifts, which is really special!
You don't have to be careful about not slipping out the name for bubs (in case you want that a secret as well)
You can get people to 'bet' on the sex of bubs and them give you their theories why they think it is a boy or girl and see who was right!

[~Kim~]

we dont know what we are having and am so glad we waited coz it is getting really exciting now wondering what it is and knowing in 2-3 weeks time! also a friend of mine convinced me when she said that it is the last real surprise in your life.

I totally agree.
I found out accidentally with DS and it certainly took some of the shine off the surprise.

What's more concerning is that DH doesn't appear to be considering your feelings at all. Him finding out on his own is one thing so he can bond, but blabbing to the world when you've clearly said you didn't want that is not cool.
Worrying about what other people buy is kinda silly. For generations people have survived quite fine without knowing.

[beckoes]

fingers crossed he/she has thier legs tightly crossed so you cant find out anyway!!

we found out for both, With the first we didnt tell everyone, just family, with the second we didnt really mind, told friends and family who really wanted to know. i think if i got pregnant again i would find out again as if i have a boy i feel i will need time to adjust, but thats just me.

[leesha]

For me personally I don't understand why people find out the sex. I felt like it was one of the last surprises life would give me as an adult (as a child they happen all the time and I lurve surprises)
We had a boy first then a girl second. Now pregnant with our third this is still going to be a surprise, I have everything for both sexes anyway so no big deal!

Also you can make it a bit of fun by having bets on the sex and doing all the little wives tales to try and tell!!
It would be hard if both parties can't agree on what they want. Good luck with trying to convince him