Has anyone had a family member die while pregnant? Did it affect name choice?
I have just had my partner's Father die this week (Carlo was 84). I am wondering if anyone has had a death in the family while they have been pregnant and thinking of naming the baby after them in some way?
If it's a girl, I am thinking of Carla. But for a boy, I"m not sure I am in love with the name Carlo (though as a middle name I like it). What do you think of Carlo for a boy's name?
I had my ultrasound on may 9th, but they couldn't tell me the sex of the baby. It had it's legs crossed. I will go for a 3d/4d scan on march 13 though. Seems forever away though.
I know 3 women who had a parent pass away whilst they were pregnant.
The two that have since had their babies both used the parents name as a middle name.
The other bub is still baking.
ETA I like Carlo but with a K
Last edited by Pandora; January 12th, 2009 at 09:19 PM.
It's nice to hear a positive opinion on the name Carlo. I wonder if it's too old fashioned or italian sounding. Though this baby is half italian and will have an italian surname lol. (Carlo, 84 was born in Rome, though my partner is Aussie born italian).
Laura is pronounced the aussie way. Though I know in Italy it is more like "Louwra" (trying to type how they sound it out).
Not keen on K for Karlo...if i were to name him that, I'd give him the same spelling.
So....Yasmin, Ronan, Laura and Carlo or Carla. Though I still have to speak to my partner about it....and he may or may not be keen on that idea. I think he'd probably push for the name though... If I'm really not happy, I'll have the middle name at least. I need time to think about it. And by march 13 I SHOULD know the sex of the baby..as long as I can tell the sex at those 3d scans (i'll be 29 weeks then).
I had 2 people pass away when I was pregnant with Madeleine. One was my cousin, and one was my Ex's very close friend.
My cousin Ben knew we had been trying for a baby... and I actually found out just after he passed that I was pregnant... We decided that if the baby was a boy we would name him Ryan Benjamin.
Obviously we didn't get to use the name Benjamin, but all my children have or will have middle names in honour of their extended family members, some are alive, some are not.
DH's aunt died when his brother's wife was expecting; they used her name as a middle name. It is a beautiful name though!
I'd not use a dead person's name as a first name because to me it's as if you're trying to fill that place. As a middle name it's a nice thing to do if you like the name and the sentiment. And your child won't hate you for it when they grow up. But Carlo/Carla is a nice middle name, IMO.
I like what you wrote Rosehip-Fairy. I do wonder if it's a bit too much to use the exact same first name, as if you are trying to replace them. And every time you mention "Carlo"...who are they talking about?
I think if it isnt a name you really like in itself, then use it as a middle name. That way you are honouring hte person you wish to honour, but you can have name that is your baby's alone, and you love
My thoughts are with you, your partner and family at this difficult time
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy
My Grandma passed away the week before my ultrasound with Em. My scan was right after the funeral. It definitely did affect our choice in her name because she was going to be Emma Louise. She is Emma Josephine after my Grandma. I called my Grandpa right after the scan to let him know and he was so touched.
I would recommend going for the middle name. It is a lovely reminder without getting confusing, unless they decide to use their middle name as their preferred name later in life.
We conceived DS a month after DH's father died in rather extraordinary circumstances and he was born 4wks early 2 days before our first Christmas without him so he has always been our miracle baby and yes naming him after his Grandfather was always a given. Funnily we always sort of "knew" we were having a boy. Having said that my hubby's name is robert and his dad's name was robert so we wanted something a little different. Alexander is the other male name used in the family so we decided on a take on Alexander - Xander and his middle name is Robert Alan after his Grandad.
My Nana (Joy) passed away when I was 34wks pg with DS and I always planned on calling my daughter after her but my cousin beat me to it so she became Ariya Joy and temperance was another first name we were playing with just before she was born and well we figured DS had two middle names so why not :-)
I think both Carla and Carlos are lovely names! And it's great for kids to have a story behind their name
I am very much leaning towards Carlo for the middle name. I do like Carla for a girls name though. But that could change.
Will be nice to know the sex. The only sad thing was that we couldn't tell him the sex of the baby before he died. Even in his final days, when he made little sense and talked little, he still managed to ask what we were having...boy/girl. I hope he is looking down from heaven and can see for himself when the baby is born.
The chinese baby predictor thing has guessed all 3 of my kids correct so far, and would seem that this one COULD be a boy. I think the timing of sex would seem to favour a boy too (about a day before ovulation).
Limeslice...thanks for your kind words. My partner is just so so sad, he can't stop crying. All I can do is be with him right now.
My brother in law passed away 2 weeks ago today. Although we didn't dicuss it until a week after, I think it was a pretty instant thought for both DH and I that if this baby is a boy, it will have a variation of his uncle's name as a middle name. BIL's name is Danny, so we're leaning towards just Dan.
My DH has the middle name of Allan - which is his grandfather's name who passed away whilst MIL was pregnant.
I agree with the others - honouring someone with a middle name is a good idea. First names can be confusing and might make people sad because they are constantly reminded of the fact that the person isn't with them anymore IYKWIM?
I'm not a fan of Carla (only cos I knew a total biatch with the name) but my physio's name is Carlie and she's really nice
my husbands grandfather passed away 2 weeks before our first childs birth, we made the decission then and there that we would name our baby after him, to us it just felt right
if you were to perhaps use it as a middle name as others have said or adapt a name that may be similar and still hold the significance to you all,
My grandad passed away 3 days before Jazz was born, and her middle name (Ray) is after my grandad (Raymond).
I could never use it as a first name, not only for other people remembering and being sad, but also... its big shoes to fill for your child, 'living up' to their name. Thats why we used it as a middle name, and also changed it a little.
My brother died when DS was in utero so he has Patrick as his middle name. At the time I swore that even if he was a girl the middle name would be Patrick...!
Carlie, Karlie, Kaali, I love all those and were on my girls list.
Is Carlo his full name?
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Has anyone had a family member die while pregnant? Did it affect name choice?
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