simply say no!

i had this kind of argument with my mum about my labour - i simply dont' want her there - it will be DH, and if he's not home from work (works away) will be SIL. my mum tried guilt, she tried manipulation, she even told me she'd have nothing to do with my baby - i just said fine, your call, but it won't change my opinion. she knows she is not welcome in the room, and better not even think about waiting in the waiting room and making me feel pressured into labour going quicker because she is waiting. hell, i'm even giving birth twice as far from home to avoid it!

it will cause tension no doubt - it took weeks for my mum to "get it" and she still makes snide remarks to people now (most of whom know me and my reasons) - and if i'm in ear shot, she just cops a glare from me. but the reality is your DP's mum obviously has no respect for you OR your partner, and definitely not for your child. you may be young, that doesn't mean dumb. if you want your mum there, it makes sense (esp given your age - no offence!) - but there is no need for your birth to be witnessed by everyone who thinks they should be there!

FWIW - my mum (again - she's a PITA!!) tried this with my SIL with their first child - both bro and SIL stood their ground and said no, so mum said she'd wait in waiting room (poor SIL) - my bro rang me when his wife went into labour to travel 7 hours from Canberra to home so that i could distract my mum and stop her barging in when SIL was in labour. i did it out of respect for him,but i was appalled at the pressure on my SIL and hated that, in a way, me being there contributed to it. when their next was born, i made mum stay home and help me with their first (she was 20 months) to keep her distracted!

tell your DP to keep strong and simply say no - and if there is no respect just don't tell her you're going into labour. make a habit early of screening calls on answering machine, and make it well know that you do it (i do it for all calls now already) - and then she can't "guess" you're in labour. when you're arranging admission at hospital make sure that no one even confirms you've been admitted! outwit her if nothing else!