Are you telling people the gender?

[Feijoa Mum]

well as we already have 4 boys it is only natural that people were going to ask us and to be honest I am so pleased that I dont mind screaming it fromt he roof tops.

However number 4 was a different story. I think people almost went into mourning for us and the looks of sympathy and sadness were pretty hard to deal with.
I had a few days of it myself coming to terms with another boy but soon realised that he was healthy and that was all that mattered at the end of the day and besides we couldnt change it!
But looks comments and expressions made it alot harder so I stopped telling people in the end. I had complete strangers telling me oh its ok you can try again and I hated it.
Its up to you, If you want it to be a secret so be it. They can like it or lump it!

[BekZ]

I am a bit of a tell all person when it comes to bubs gender. Like Allboys I found telling ppl with #3 a little dishearting when I got negative or sympathetic responses. If I have another bub (a big if) I won't be telling anyone.

From a spectators perspective I like it when my friends keep the gender a surprise, it is more exciting! Although I do get jealous (just a little) when someone has a boy lol.

Goodluck...Just stick to your guns and politely tell ppl that you want everyone to have a surprise.... So your not telling nanana..na..na

[Spring Angel]

We know and haven't told.

I like the idea of keeping it a total surprise and most in my family/friends don't ask.

When nosey parkers ask what we are having I just reply 'A baby' (lol).

We also don't discuss specific names we've chosen, like to keep it all a big surprise.

Spring x

[Lenny]

With DS I decided that I wanted to know - but i wanted to keep it a secret. I ended up telling everyone on BB () and my ob...and then my sister (cos she is the only family that is nearby and she saw all the blue stuff!). So, in the end we told everyone.

With my current pg, DH and I decided to tell people that we are expecting a boy. BUT...I wish we hadn't. People can't keep their opinions to themselves, and seem genuinely disappointed for us that we aren't having a girl!

I'm glad I know, but I think I could have easily kept quiet/secret on the gender.

I think you have the right attitude to the whole thing - I don't think people mean to be rude, they are just interested and excited for you.

[briggsy's girl]

wow Lenny - i didnt know you were having a boy! congrats hun! (must have missed that one!)

if family wanted to know with DD, we told them, if they didnt we didnt. we were just over the moon that we were pregnant!

[~Trish~]

We found out and told everyone each time, I knew I'd slip up at some stage otherwise LOL! Everyone we knew was happy to know the gender early except our next-door neighbour, but his wife always asked me on the sly ha ha! We tried to keep it secret from him each time, but with DD one of our other neighbours told him, not realising he didn't want to know!

It is TOTALLY up to you. Don't feel guilty for saying "Yes we know, but we're not sharing with anyone". Most people will just leave it there and if they don't, just say too bad in a teasing tone, then they shouldn't take offense. We didn't share our babies names, that was one thing we kept secret. FIL would try and trick me into telling him all the time, but I never fell for it .

[phynna]

nup it's a secret for us! We're so sick to death of all the gender stereotyping you get from just about EVERYONE as soon as they know you're having a baby. "oh you MUST have pink for a girl!" i HATED pink growing up, yet just about everything i was ever given, from my drink tumbler, to the side-pods on my go-kart were pink! It was forced down my throat! And when i buy some baby toys like trucks (i'm a truckie for a living) i get "but you dont know what you're having yet, what if it's a girl" well with a mum that drives trucks why wouldnt my child, boy or girl, get to play with trucks and come in the truck like i did with my dad? I used to always steal my brothers hot wheels and tonka toys when i was little! So there you have it, it's all a big secret, which is annoying that it has to be that way but even the people who say they understand your aversion to the pink + frilly or the blue + tough, they just cant help themselves when it comes down to it, so it's better this way, no offending anyone if we hated their pressies, and no pressies that we hate!

[berrme]

I found a lot of people would ask if we were telling people when they are asked if we knew what we were having. People really shouldn't be offended if you don't want to tell them the gender. It is completely up to you.
I did however think that helping other people with their gift buying was one of the benefits of knowing.

[Cass72]

well as we already have 4 boys it is only natural that people were going to ask us and to be honest I am so pleased that I dont mind screaming it fromt he roof tops.

However number 4 was a different story. I think people almost went into mourning for us and the looks of sympathy and sadness were pretty hard to deal with.
I had a few days of it myself coming to terms with another boy but soon realised that he was healthy and that was all that mattered at the end of the day and besides we couldnt change it!
But looks comments and expressions made it alot harder so I stopped telling people in the end. I had complete strangers telling me oh its ok you can try again and I hated it.
Its up to you, If you want it to be a secret so be it. They can like it or lump it!

How can people assume you are disappointed? My FIL asked outright last night (he stayed at our place last night and couldn't help but notice that the nursery is definately made up for a boy) if we were disappointed about having a boy [DH has a son and a daughter and I have a son]. I said so what's so special about girls? How can we possibly be disappointed - he's perfect! The funniest comment was from my SIL when she said, oh you should have a girl. Um, okay, so I can just choose what gender my baby will be or can we change it at this late stage????? Go figure - people are weird!

I'm glad we aren't telling people - presuming my FIL can keep his trap shut.

UPDATE: Okay, so FIL obviously can't keep his trap shut!! DH was speaking with SIL last night who said, "oh dad said you're having a boy" (and some "are you disappointed questions"). She will by now have told the rest of DH's family. I rang my mum to have a whinge who told me that it doesn't matter and try not to let it worry me, but she did agree that he had no right to tell our secret.