I know someone who had a VBAC with a baby over 9lb if that helps you at all. Firstly, posterior labours are renouned for being long and difficult and under the circumstances I think you did the best you could with the support you had. Were you overdue last time too? Posterior babies can be a little bit later than babies in the best position for birth, as they just can't get their head down into the pelvis properly to start the labour off. I personally know how hard they are as my last two births were both posterior ones - and they were both big babies too.
At the end of the day the size of the baby isn't the be-all-and-end-all - you need to trust that your body knows what to do. I think you should grab yourself a copy of The Pink Kit (available in the BellyBelly Online Shop) - it will teach you how you get to know your body and help you prepare for the birth. It's also possible that he wont be bigger than his sister just by the size of your belly - often with a subsequent pg you are a bit bigger anyway or you could just have more fluid in there - after all it is really hot and you may be feeling the effects of that.
I think a big difference to your birth this time is that you have a midwife that you trust. Also have you thought about getting a Doula? I really think it would be a good idea to look into getting one as they can be just what you need to help you get over the 'finish line', quietly reassuring you that you CAN do it. If you haven't heard of them before, they really are amazing at what they can do to help birthing woman. There is an article on the main BellyBelly site that explains what a Doula is and why it is worth getting one.
Good luck, I am sure you will be great this time.
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