but my focus is to support the good parent doing the right thing, this dad is doing the right thing and having to endure the crap from a system and mother that is not doing the right thing in my opinion
There is always three sides to every story...

I don't think it's fair to flame the mother, I'm not saying CFlakes is a liar either but I don't think we have all the relevant info to start pointing fingers and saying who the better parent is. CFlakes has asked for advice, not a verbal bashing on what sort of parent the mother of his child is.