if you contact the Family Relationships Advice Line you'll be able to get a lot of advice and referrals to local assistance. As Nic mentioned, court is a last resort - the expectation is that you go through mediation to make parenting plans first - but if that is unsuccessful, court is a last resort - their number is 1800 050 321

the aim now is to make arrangements for custody that is in the best interests of the child - not the parents. it's not a case of "every second weekend" or anything like that now - it's doing what is most suitable for your child. being that you are in seperate states, there will have to be consideration for the age of your child and the emotional stability of her life if she's being moved from one parent to another with differing routines. when speaking to parenting advisors, make sure you mention your concerns for routines and things like that

if a mediation session is set up and he doesn't show or no result can be reached, you would be referred to court. if a parenting plan can be agreed upon, but you're not sure that he'll stick to it, you can have it sent before a judge to become a court order, so if he breaches it, it would cary the same penalties as breaching an order decided on by a judge in a court setting..

hth's - good luck with getting some stable plans in place for yourself and your little girl