the same happens to my son when he has seen his dad after 2 months of no contact, I have just got Dylan into routine of falling asleep in his cot rather than a walk in pram, patting for half hour or feeding him to sleep (I have had an unsettled year!) After 2 weeks of seeing his Dad almost everyday his routine is buggered, he went 3 days without any day naps and at night had to be patted, he was so tired... Anyway back to the controlled crying. If I try to talk to the ex about routine things he just says shut up, stop bossing me...
I have to go to meditation with him. But ring the legal aid line for free legal advice to see what the likely outcome will be. I really empathise with the situation. Speak to you soon Vicky