mummycate, when is the little one when he does te night shifts? This sounds like a worry to me.
Also, you havementioned you are in different states - how far? And if you dont mind, what are your arrangements?

I know she is only little now, but the cost of having to fly backward and forward will probably have him stop coming to get her so often in future - ir might just be to get back at you just now.
A friend of mine's X moved about 3 hours away when they broke up, now he has her for at least half of all school holidays - so it doesnt affect her routine.
How are you supposed to get yourself and bubs into a stable routine if it is quite haphazard as to when he has her?!