Ok, so DH and I are separating. I'll give details in another thread when I have time to sit and tell all (something I have not done before). So I need help, what do I need to do, where do I start. I'm worried he is going to get nasty... especially with regards to finances - I have been the major contributor to our relationship until Maternity Leave in July 09.
I guess I just don't want to get caught out. I'm new to all this and haven't been able to do research and I thought who best to ask than BB.
It was made final yesterday that this is what is happening. Our location and circumstances of living here make things harder. But any advice is welcome.
I'm sad for DD, I'm scared for my future - the unknown and being alone forever now that I have DD but I don't care what happens to me so long as I am the best mum for her. I have booked in to see a counsellor tomorrow, I think I need it as there has been a very long history in this relationship and I know i need to get some self worth and respect back and be at my best emotionally and mentally so I can be best mum. Although I'm scared, angry etc I can't help but feel a weight off my shoulders cos I'm finally getting off this horrible merry go round.
I'm so sorry to hear this.
Firstly, contact Centrelink and let them know you've separated and get things organised there. If you aren't already, apply for PPS (Parenting Payment Single) and change your FTB details.
You may want to open your own bank account in your name only so all your money is only going to you from now on.
Contact either Relationships Australia or Legal Aid with regards to Parenting Orders.
I am so sorry Ellee It is always hard and challenging when separation comes. Mostly the unknown future and missing the familiarity - even when the familiarity was unpleasant - it was familiar...
It's important that you call centrelink & they will help you with that side of things (including CS)
It's very important that you see a Solicitor that is a family law expert. This will help you to protect yourself now and in the future.
The counsellor is very important for your emotional health - it's impossible to stay on track throught this I think without expert guidance.
Make copies of all important documents, bank statements, superannuation statements (yours and his), mortgage or lease agreement, insurances, wills, all debts and payments etc
Open your own bank account if you don't have one. Talk to a family lawyer. Counselling is a great idea.
If you think he's going to get nasty, plan for it - it may be he makes nasty statements, puts you down, denigrates your financial contribution/role as wife or mother. Be prepared for him to try manipulating you. Counselling and support will help. Don't buy into his reality. If it's over, then that's it. Don't enter into a discussion about personal issues at all - treat it like a business negotiation. It's hard to turn off all the years of caring for someone, but if that's what you have to do to protect yourself, then do so.
Things are scary now and may get harder, but you will get through it stronger and ultimately be better off.
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this Ellee . I don't have any advice, but I just wanted to pop in to give you a cyber hug. You are a great mum and things will work out, it's just very overwhelming right now I'm sure.
I hope you have lots of help and support from your family and friends.
Need Advice - It's Over
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It is always hard and challenging when separation comes. Mostly the unknown future and missing the familiarity - even when the familiarity was unpleasant - it was familiar... 
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