Wow. What a sucky situation. Hope the stress is not affecting your milk supply or anything! That's a sure sign to back out of a wedding!

If the dresses are being tailor made for you then I'd be asking the tailors opinion (which I imagine will match yours) and getting the tailor to tell the Bride that a longer length is much more flattering. And flipping heck, I imagine all the bridesmaids are different heights, so a different dress length is hardly going to be obvious. Far less obvious than the look of discomfort on your face if you have to wear a knee length number! I don't understand why they would all have to be exactly the same length....I would if one was a mini skirt length and another was floor length, but if it's a matter of a few inches....pfff to this 'same length or die' rule!

It's always good to remember that the Bride is probably under a lot of stress (hate to play the devil's advocate!!) and if she 'loses' you as a freind (worst case scenario) she'll be looking back in 6 months time and thinking 'what the heck was I thinking??? Dress length?!!'.

In saying that....devils advocate again.....could you go try on a strapless, knee length dress just to totally confirm your opinion? Lol, if you have a spare hour or two...which I imagine you don't!

I'd recommend writing her an email re. being demoted. It's an emotional subject so I'd say to write rather than speak to her face to face....unless you're both calm people. It's a legitimate reaction you had and telling her about it will either make it a better, more honest relationship, or will (sadly) prove to you it's not worth pursuing.