oops double post.
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oops double post.
Last edited by AnyDream; February 12th, 2009 at 02:03 PM.
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
Aaah, yes I've been having the same sort of irrational "conversations" with DD all this week. Its ridiculous.
I have also taken the keys, she has a bungalow out the back and if she wants to come in and do her washing or EAT, she can watch her REVOLTING attitude toward the rest of the family. Is there something in the air???
Are there any alternative schools around?
XOXOXOXO You sister in teen stress....
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It's always a relief to hear other people going through the same thing.
Aaah, yes I've been having the same sort of irrational "conversations" with DD all this week. Its ridiculous.
I have also taken the keys, she has a bungalow out the back and if she wants to come in and do her washing or EAT, she can watch her REVOLTING attitude toward the rest of the family. Is there something in the air???
Are there any alternative schools around?
XOXOXOXO You sister in teen stress....
I mean, "Where were you?" Geesh, most of my emotional energy has been sucked towards her for years. I've been right there, while she's been busy hating me.
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
Oh cop this then - "you are a disgusting mother and you hit your own children". Ummm, I have a well known stance against smacking and she knows it. AND "you leave SOFT PORN pictures of yourself around for your children to see"..... well that would be the professional shots that were taken when I was about 25. 90% of them were clothed (and framed on my mums piano actually), and a few in my knickers and bra - I found the proofs in a cleanout the other day and Dp and I were fondly remembering the days of perky bosoms....
I can't roll my eyes enough. Have you had a look at the Tough Love Website? Parentline is excellent for a debrief/sounding board too xoxoxo
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Oh goodness, you poor thing! And then you wonder what on earth they are telling their teachers, counsellors, etc... and what the world must think of you through their eyes!!
Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
School counsellor called today - tells me I'm doing a great job - HA!
I just want to send you a hug - a long squishy understanding one...
Mothering daughters is not all its cracked up to be sometimes...I have a difficult one too - she is almost 14.
Just know that I think you are a wonderful Mama - for putting in so much love and compassion. Take some time out for you - you are growing another little person and you need to surround yourself with love and support.
I think you need to be firm with her - really firm. Group counselling sounds like the go from my experience it helps. My DD has Aspergers - so getting thru on a "caring" level is hard. My language just bugs the poo out of her - I am too "touchy feely". Too "spacy"... Too "wierd". My next DD (6) thinks that I smell like roses all the time & I can't do anything wrong!!! It's hard - and all I know is we just have to live thru it - & trust that this is another of those life lessons that we are being shown...
Just know my thoughts and prayers and the "sisterhood" are with you...
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TM...sounds very similar to DS1 who is 15. He was adamant he wasn't going back to school this year and by law he could get an exemption if he had work more than 25 hrs a week or an apprenticeship (how stupid is our govt)... anyway, I knew he was too lazy to look so wasn't too concerned. He's back at school, but guess what....he's already on a weeks suspension! He thinks he's a law unto his own. We got a letter from translink (which is the trains etc here) and he's going to be in big trouble if he gets caught again without a ticket, and we told him we are NOT paying the fine if he gets it and he can do community service but he doesn't care. He is moody, rude and speaks to me like I'm crap. Then he can be so nice. He's lost 2 jobs since Sept cos he doesn't care, he wants to be out hanging out with his mates. As for counselling, he won't be in that at all, thinks he has no issues and if I ask what's bugging him I get "it's complicated". I have to nag him constantly to even pick up his dirty clothes or have a shower....I'M OVER IT TOO!!
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That is exactly what I wonder!! My DD16 ran away from home about 4 months ago to live with her boyfriends family...she has told the whole world that I kicked her out of home...and I can't even dare to imagine what else she has said about her "terrible home life).
I really hope you can get through this with DD. I know how hard it is...I really do. It is totally heartbreaking to see these "babies" that you raised and love with all your heart and soul turn into these "not so lovely" young adults.
By the way....I "only care about myself and nobody else" because I wouldn't spend my last $20 grocery money on makeup for DD.
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MD, that's not a bad idea, a group counseling session. Her tempers and outbursts tell me that she wants to tell me something but isn't able to find an appropriate way of doing it. And I really *am* keen to hear what it is that's bothering her particularly, and to be honest, I want her to hear what I'm dealing with too, when it comes to her outbursts!! We've already had one joint session that was very good.
I was very unsure about her returning to this school to do her VCE but she was adamant - I think there is a certain amount of pride involved. She wants to succeed at this school. She wants to finish something.
I am in a bind as far as her doing her VCE some other way because after she flunked out last year, and then decided she wanted to go back, I told her that this was the last time I'd be funding her changing her mind. We had already tried different schools before hand, even going into debt at a private school setting her up, only to have her decide she didn't want to go, or truant. I told her she needed to be sure because if she was going to change course midstream, the next time she'd need to get a job and pay for it herself.
I feel like I've run around in circles trying to fix things for her for so many years, doing everything I can to meet her needs, and now I feel like she needs to start taking the initiative herself, kwim? She's been given all these chances, all the support, now she needs to start working with it all.
I should mention, she is extremely bright, a gifted student, highly emotional, and she and her elder sister had quite an unsettled early childhood as their bio-dad left early, and he's come and gone through their lives a lot and that has been very disruptive for them. Dd2 has been dealing with emotional issues of one sort or another since she was a toddler.
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