BW,
Firstly, I am so sorry that you lost your little one. It is so hard to be so full of hope when something like a baby is as hard to come by as it is for you (and for me) only to have that ripped away from you.
When I first fell pregnant, I had only really been ttc for 12 months but I miscarried at 11 weeks, it was missed, that baby had died at around 8 weeks. I was very upset but knew I had to try again. I miscarried eight weeks into the next pregnancy and that one was about three months after the first.
I started trying again about six months later, it took me a while to pick myself up and dust myself off. Finally after 3 1/2 years of ttc, clomid, parlodel, tests, IVF doctors we carried Imogen and Madeline to viability. For me it was a matter of wanting a baby so badly that it became the most important thing to me (and DH). It wasn't that I felt ready, it was that I needed to keep pushing forward.

I had Lily no problems, then another two miscarriages, one at 16 weeks, that just took the wind out of my sails completely. After losing that little one, I felt that I couldn't try for a while, so I concentrated on making my body the best it could be to carry a babe. It took almost two years to feel actively 'ready' and I did alot of work emotionally to get there. It took 6 rounds of clomid and tests and dye run through my tubes, again by the time I fell pregnant, I wanted that unobtainable baby SO much.

Then along came William. When William died I was floored. I lost my will to live, I lost hope but I still had that 'drive' (does that make sense?) to have that beautiful baby in my arms. In my figuring, it took four years to achieve another viable pregnancy, so I didn't want to waste time.


BW, Like Flowerchild said, I don't think you will ever 'be ready' to try again. It's not just something that happens. It is a drive, a want a longing that becomes all consuming and overlaps the feelings of grief and fear of being hurt again, it's more an acceptance, wanting to take that chance again.

I am hoping that I have made some sense.
Biggest of hugs to you.