Mj mummy,
hello, i think it is so normal for you to feel sad at this time. I lost my first baby Darren at 18weeks, he had abnormailities and i had to end the preg early, for the rest of the time i "should" have been pregnant i sort of stayed stuck in my sadness and i would find myself resentful of having fun or doing things i wouldn't have been able to do had i still been pregnant. One of my Aunties told me that to "get over it" properly i should be pregnant by my due date. God knows why she thought it would help- i was flabbergasted and didn't even start trying again until well after his due date. I felt the need to honor that time just for him. To this day i still light candles for him on the day i gave birth to him (may) and his due date (oct).
I think it is important to remember our angels no matter how short or long their stay in our bellies was. And i totally understand what you are saying about Dh. My DH was sad at all of our losses, however i think he only really experienced the full blown loss of our daughter at 36 weeks as i was very pregnant and we were much more confident that we would get to have her, where as with darren and my m/c the loss was far more internal for me and i felt the same sadness with all three. As the child bearers, we as women feel these little ones from our first feeling of pregnancy, and i felt like my DH needed to see the fullness of the preganancy before it really sinks in, and for him that never happened until the baby moved and he could "see" the pregnancy. This may sound absolutely horrible, but in a way i am grateful that he felt our daughters loss as until then i didn;t really beleive he understood how i had felt the other two times, and i beleive it gave him a little more understanding. I would have her back in a second, but at least her death has helped our relationship in a small way.
Sorry i am blabbing, i tend to do that.
I just wanted to reassure you that whatever you feel is normal and to tell you that you should do whatever works for you to make yourself feel a little bit better! As for inconsiderate families- i will leave that for another day!!!
Take Care Dear
StarBright xox