I think I need help!
I had a missed m/c in July. I had a couple of really hard weeks afterwards but then felt pretty ok for a while. This week I've hit rockbottom. I can't seem to lift myself out of this depression I feel and at the same time, really wish I could just snap out of it. I think about what happened ALL day! This last month we started ttc again. I was really hopeful as we conceived the first time last time but just got my period yesterday - so feeling really blah now! I can't help but feel that everything will be alright if I was pregnant again now.

I am really struggling with the news that other friends are falling pregnant - it is not that I am not happy for them (I am elated for them) but I don't react to their news the way a 'normal' person would and I really do not like that about myself - how do other people cope with this?? I feel really selfish and self-centred reacting the way I do - it makes the pain of what happened come to the forefront again when I hear them talk about their scans and symptoms etc. and I just can't deal with it. It seems the closer I get to what would have been my 'due date' the worse I get. My mum really wants me to get counselling - has anyone else seen a counseller after m/c and did it help?? I just can't imagine that there is anything that anyone can say to me that will make me feel better??

Sorry, I feel like i'm venting here and it's not a very uplifting post either! I just feel like I have noone to talk to - that the people around me expect me to be over it by now and don't understand the anguish I still feel and how/why I would still be so upset.

I would be greatful for any advice.

Thankyou,
Rachel
Hi Rachel,
I thought I was the only one who felt alone. I have felt exactly the same way as you on and off for the last 12 months. I conceived after 2 months of trying and then m/c in Nov 2007 at 6 weeks. It was such a traumatic time and I was so sad and couldn't stop crying. I too felt ok after a few weeks and thought I was 'getting over it' but it isn't quite that simple. I threw myself into work to try and forget about it but all I could think about was the baby my DH and I had lost. I felt so guilty like I had done something wrong and I felt like I had let my DH down. This wasn't true at all and he was so wonderfully supportive, I was very lucky to have him.

I guess what I am trying to say is that if you feel you need counselling, do it. I really wish I had but at the time I thought I could handle it and everything would be ok, especially once I feel pregnant again.

12 months on (almost) and we are still TTC and everytime I get my period I still get upset and down for a few days.

It seems like everyone in the world is pregnant or just had a baby. I am so happy for anyone that falls pregnant but as I smile and say congratulations my heart is breaking because I want to be pregnant as well!

I must sound so mean but I am really a nice person and hate being jealous and bitter. It's not just me but I can't help feeling that way.

Sorry I hope I haven't made you feel worse. Just know that what you are feeling is completely normal and if I have learnt anything over the last 12 months it is that you can't control how you feel in this situation and people who have never had a m/c will never fully understand.

I wish you and your DH all the luck in the world and will keep my fingers crossed for you.

I know it is hard but don't give up hope!

Mel