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Thread: Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ December 2006 #3

  1. #109

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    Jane - I am finding that we really are on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute we are up and feeling positive, and the next we are crashing down and wondering why we are doing this to ourselves. I have no idea what to say to you, as it would be the same advice I should be giving myself - and I don't want to say the wrong thing. Try talking to your friend, even if she doesn't understand or accept what you are saying, I think we still have to say the words, to let people know how we feel - otherwise it will just bottle up and we'll vent the words in a harsher way.

    Like I did. I am so bitter with my family at the moment, as they just don't understand, or they don't acknowledge the way I am feeling. I lost it with them at Christmas. I said to my sister, I'm sure if your 5yo daughter died a few weeks ago, you might be a little upset right now and expect people to care. That's pretty harsh and unfair of me, isn't it? Lashing out at my sister, when she doesn't deserve it. Am I unfairly blaming other people for the way I'm feeling? I think I need to start that journal of my thoughts, or I need a therapist



    What a sad bunch we are for being up so late when we should be sleeping

  2. #110

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    BTW...

    Hi to skyymum! Welcome to BB. Have a look around. There is a thread somewhere about how to cope in the TWW. That period of time always seems to drag on. You want it over, but then you don't want the disappointment. I always make sure I have some project to work on, to keep my mind off it. Good luck, and hopefully you won't be staying in this thread for too long

    Jane - Focus on your holiday - it's not too far away. We are off on our trip in a few weeks. Thinking about it has helped me a lot. 3wks escape - I can't wait. I know my DH is really looking forward to it as well.

    Kerry - welcome back! I'm glad you had a great time with your family. Did you get a few good bargains? A few more weeks off before you are back at work?

    Mako - welcome back from your holiday as well! Sorry AF has arrived, only a few more days to your FS appt, so not too long to you can find out the plan.

    Cilmum - I think a meditation CD sounds like a good idea and a good excuse for me to get out of the house tomorrow and go shopping. As Shan suggested, Fertility Friend is what most of us use to track our cycles, even if you don't temp, I find it comes in handy to do.

    Shan - how are you doing with the TWW?

    Hello to anyone else I may have missed. Hope you are having a good sleep as I write this, and dreaming about lots of wonderful things.

  3. #111

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    hi ya beautiful girls

    Jane - oh sweetie, I too wish I could give you a hug xxx Its ok to be upset I know I found it hard when we were dtd sometimes I would cry through it.... let it out talk to your close friend... About 2-3 weeks after I lost my angel I spent a day at home by myself and I howled,yelled and screamed at the world all day long till I was so exhausted but I felt so much better for it emotionally.... xxxx

    Belinda - babe you too are going through a really tough patch too.. I too think that a meditation cd would be good.. go and have a facial or massage, I had a facial not long after I lost my angel as I was really still stick and it made me feel so much better... You too are aloud to be angry, yell at the world if you want.... I am sorry to hear about the lack of support from your family at the moment... Take it easy babe xxx

    Shan- OMG you sound very promising, when can you test????????? I have everything crossed for you

    skyymum - I am sorry to hear of your loss, welcome ... no you are not too old!!! in the TWW I just kept myself as busy as possible xxx

    Missykg- hello!! How are you going??

    ladybug- I am too sorry to hear of your loss you will find tons of support from these amazing women xx

    Kerry - Yay welcome home!! how was the hols??

    Mako - How was the hol? GL for Thursday xxx

    Big hello to anyone I have missed

    As for me DH and I have been repainting our kitchen as I think it will be a awhile b4 we can put a new one in so we are revamping it!!!! I am going for another scan on Friday just to make sure everything is ok, I am feeing positive about this one xxx

    Hope you all have a brilliant day mwah xxxxxxx

  4. #112

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    Hey Kez!! How's the preggie belly? I'm sorry I didn't post much when you got your BFP. It was so hard to congratulate someone when you are so sad and going through a hard time, even though you don't wish anything bad for them. I am so happy for you and hope you have an uneventful pregnancy. It sounds like the painting thing is contagious around here.

    Belinda-I am all about pampering yourself so please go do it for yourself!! I went and pampered myself about 2 weeks after my miscarriage and even though it didn't take away my pain, at least I felt better about myself.

    Skymum-Welcome!! I hope you find the comfort you need by talking to everyone here. They are wonderful and very strong women.

    Well, I have to go away tonight so I will check back in later.

  5. #113

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    Jane, hun, you have expressed exactly how I feel too. The thought that gets me through is a comment a friend said to me & someone here has said it before too - your little angels soul wasn't ready yet, but he/she will be one day & that very soul will return to you when that time is right.

    Belinda - hope you find a nice cd. Sorry to hear your family aren't as supportive as you need them to be, but maybe your comments will make them realise & they will come around.

  6. #114

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    Skyymum, welcome, hope you're not here long but in the meantime I'm sure you'll find some great support here.

    Didn't seem appropriate to put this in the same post as my previous one, but I caved this morning & did an early HPT. AF isn't due until next Saturday, so I've probably jumped the gun, but... the test had an ever so feint second line - so feint that it may not really be there at all iykwim. DH could see it too, so I wasn't just wishing it there, but I'm really unsure now. Can HPT's sometimes show just a hint of a line & still be -ive?

  7. #115

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    Belinda a journal is great im going to hope back into bed again and write down all i have been feeling the last 24 hrs.. Also pampering sounds good straight after my m/c all i wanted to do was get my hair done but my hairdresser has just had and baby and isnt working atm and i really want her to do it because i want to put it in her hands and do whatever.... So instead im going to book in for a massage or a colour reading havnt decided yet...

    And Belinda try not to feel bad a blowing up they should try to understand there is a poem in the poem section that is about not letting people think that what you had wasnt anything go and read it and maybe give a copy to your sister it might help her understand more of what you are going through...

    Cilmum what your friend said to you is lovely... Brings me some peace..

    AND YAY AT +VE HPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A line is a LINE.......... very happy for you....

  8. #116

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    Cilmum - that's wonderful news!!! It's probably only feint because you tested a week early, but generally a line is a line. If I were you, I would be down at the dr's by now requesting a BT - but that's me hehe. Looks like Congratulations are in order for you!!!!

    Anyway - I'm still a bit drowsy, as I managed to get a few hours sleep this morning - so I'm either going to crawl back into bed or into the shower. You ladies are too nice to me, and I feel much more positive this morning. *hugs* Well, I'll be back later, I am sure of it.

  9. #117

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    Thats what we are here for Belinda i dont think i could have gotten this far without everyones support hold in there and go get that mediatation cd and journal..

  10. #118

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    Cilmum - congrats on the line - looks like you've got your BFP - all the best!!
    I have had a few tears reading the posts from some of you girls going through hard times. I too am going through a bit of a rough patch. Lately I have started thinking "I should be having a baby next month....". It is just so wrong that anybody should go through what we have gone through...
    Shan, fingers crossed for you - I really really really hope you get that BFP!
    Hope all the pg bellies are doing well...
    Me, am now on CD 7 so approx a week for me before the action starts. Better get back into the temps as I have missed a couple lately but now af is over I will try & be good.
    All the best to everyone & here's to some positive thoughts & some really positive outcomes for us all BFPs! BFPs! BFPs!

  11. #119

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    Cilmum - OMG a line is a line, mine was super feint... Oh yay that has made my day!! woo whooooooo xxxxx


    Belinda and Jane - I want to hear about your wonderful massages!! Make an appt tmw! xxx Belinda I hope that you manage to get some sleep tonight hun xxx

    Missykg - oh yeah painting is definately on at moment! what cracks me up is that Dh and I have been on hols for 2 weeks and haven't accomplished a great deal except being a lazy bum and then 2 days b4 we go back to work 'oh hey lets revamp the kitchen' lol crazy I tell ya.

    big hi to all the ladies xxx

  12. #120

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    Thanks ladies. I would have said the same thing - a line is a line, but it's really so feint, barely even a shadow of a line & it was a cheap test, so I don't want to get my hopes up (even though they are already) just in case it's not real. I will have to test again later in the week (& then probably next week & the week after) before I can really believe it & be joyous about it.

    I forgot to take my Elevit the last 3 days too, so now I'm stressing that maybe if I am pg I've hurt this one & maybe the worst will happen again.

    * I'd just like to add a footnote that I'm normally quite a rational & sane person...

  13. #121

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    Hello, me back again! CONGRATULATIONS, Cilmum - if your husband could see the faint line too then I think you have yourself a BFP, and don't beat yourself up about missing a few days of Elevit I'm so very happy for you

    I've had an attack of the blues today, too, wondering if that one time I was pg might have been the only shot I get at it. I would have been 18w4d today. And I hate being 38 going on 39 and in a long distance relationship with "issues". I don't know whether to run up the white flag or to continue to be patient and hope that everything will sort itself out. I really want to go for a BFP this cycle but I can't seem to get any commitment from my busy DP about spending even a week together before I take a teaching appointment out west for a year. So many conflicting messages. Maybe it's because AF is visiting at the moment. Or that I've just got back from the bustle of Hong Kong.

    Glad you're feeling a bit brighter, Belinda, and hugs for you, too, Jane - the journal sounds like a great idea. I might start one, too. And a big tick to the pampering idea.
    Welcome Skymum and Ladybug, hope your journeys are short and sweet. You'll get lots of support and good advice in this forum. Hello Shan (when are you testing!), hi to Mummyto1 and Mako, and good luck for Friday, Kez, I'll be thinking of you!! And a happy *wave* to all the other ladies I've missed because my computer doesn't go back far enough! Catch you next time!

  14. #122

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    Hi

    I miscarried in October 06 and then didn't get AF until the 7th Dec, now another is overdue. I don't feel pregnant I probably more feel as if AF is just running a little late, but I so hope I am pregnant soon. I suppose it doesn't help that I am still breastfeeding Maria a couple of times a day. I hate it when your body plays tricks on you.

  15. #123

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    Good Morning

    Cilmum CONGRATULATIONS to you on your bfp. I can understand that you don't want to get your hopes up yet but please excuse me because I'm sooooo excited for you. Oh and don't beat your self up about forgeting to take elevit for a few days. I'm sure everthing will be just fine. When are you going to get a b/t done??????

    Kbowman I'm sending you a great big . I hope you and your dp get to have some quality time together b4 you have to go out west for your teaching assignment. I hope you are feeling better today hun.

    Shan How are you going sweet???? When are you up for testing???? Must be soon as I've noticed a few people asking and I can't go back far enough to see where you're up to.

    Welcome Skymum and Ladybug. I hope you are both ok.

    Chepie Good luck for your scan on Friday. I hope all is well with you. My holiday was ok. I had my 1st angels 12 month anniversary while I was away which was a little tough to deal with but I got through it.And dh and I spent christmas and new year with my brother and his family for the first time in about 20 years which was great

    Mummyto1 Good luck to you this cycle hun. I hope we see a bfp from you real soon.

    Missbelinda I hope you've been able to get some more sleep hun and that you are feeling a bit better too.

    Janeo How are you going sweety. I do hope you are ok.

    Hi to all you ladies I've missed. I hope you are all doing well.
    And big belly rubs to all the preggie bellies out there

  16. #124

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    Just popping in to say CONGRATS CILMUM!!!!!! and to you. Hope xoxo

  17. #125

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    I have a question cant you get fertile signs ie heaps of ewcm and not release a egg? TMI because we dtd sunday morning and well kinda got carried away and didnt use any protection and um last night i had heaps of ewcm i didnt think about where i was at when we dtd OOPs... Im hoping i just have the signs but no eggy... Just for this month though need to have a AF would it be really bad if i did catch a egg?????

  18. #126

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    Hello Jane, maybe you could get an opk and check whether you're ovulating? I don't think there's any problem if you do catch the eggie, you'd just have to wait for an early scan to work out your edd because you haven't had a normal af. And if you are temping, you should also see a jump in your temperatures which should stay up over the next few days. Good luck

    Thanks, Mako, I'll feel better once I have the chance to speak properly with DP (and he organises his life so that we can spend real time together). It must have been fantastic to catch up with your brother at Christmas! Twenty years, wow! I'm going up to Brisbane this week to see my Dad, I think it's been 18 months since I saw him last.

    Welcome kitten2b, hope you get some good news soon. It's hard not knowing, isn't it.

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