Hi to all,

Well I tested and yes, I got my BFP. So I should be happy right? But I'm not. I am absolutely sh*tting myself, that I will experience another loss. I don't have any pg symptoms - why don't I have sore bbs, feeling nauseaous, tired etc.... I had such bad cramping last night & when I tested this morning there was a tiny amount of tissue (no blood) in my urine (sorry if TMI). I told my DH that I didn't believe the test & that I am not getting my hopes up, that I feel detached - he said WTF? I can't help it, I don't want to feel happy incase this pg doesn't eventuate and again I will be a blubbering mess. I don't want to tell anybody (other than you ladies) b/c I have the thought that I will then have to go back and tell them that I was wrong. I should feel grateful that I can get pg, at least there is hope but all I keep thinking about is seeing spotting when I wipe and not having pg symptons. Please little one stick this time and give me the worst pg symptons so I know that you are still with me.

I will ring the gyno today and see if I can get an early scan since I've had two other losses.

Reading this back, you must think I am mad.

I am sorry to put such a dampener on this morning but I had to vent.......

Have a great Wednesday and I'll post later.

Luv Jules