TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ February 08

[Katiegirl]

Hi Everyone. So much to catch up on!

Tempus - I will keep you and your family in my prayers. It must be a very difficult and upsetting time for you, but I can tell that you are a caring person and I am sure your FIL can sense that.

Good luck to all those in the 2WW - I hope it isn't too maddening for you. I am CD9 and getting ready to O. Why is it better to BD every other day? Is it more so you can see what kind of CM is being produced without getting it confused with BD? If that makes sense?

Berecca - I understand how you question what would have happened if you had not waited. I married in Nov 06 and DH wanted to start trying straight away but I kept putting if off. So now I often think what was I waiting for! I think we all assume that when we decide we want to fall pregnant it will just happen with no problems (and why shouldn't we believe that) and then when you MC or have difficulties it comes as a complete shock to the system. Don't be too hard on yourself. It is very hard and cruel losing our first so I understand your feelings. I feel that the innocence and pure joy that I experienced up to 20 weeks has been stripped from me forever.

DH and I had a great talk on Friday night and I think we really got to understand how each are feeling. It was useful because we now both feel we are on the same team again and wanting the same things. Grief can make it very difficult to remain a close relationship so I am really happy that we have worked through this.

We are also attending a SIDS support group on Tuesday night for the first time - there will be parents there who lost children at all stages from MC through to still birth and beyond. It is the night before my birthday so I am hoping it is a helpful experience and won't bring me down - but I doubt it will.

That is it from me for now, have to go as am very hungry!!!

[Baby Angels]

Tempus..... I do hope you are doing ok........My thoughts are with you... Nothing I can really say, I sat by my Nana s bed for 10 days. She passed and then I sat by her bed while I rang my mother (her daughter) to tell her and wait for her to drive the hour and a half to the hospital. It is the journey of life as I have heard many times....... but that doesnt stop it hurting like hell. HUGE HUG

Canary.... sometimes its just a little harder to be chirpy..... hope todays a better day for you :nana: ...... did that help at all

Starrysky....Those shoes are ugly shoes..... they hurt..... but as you stated.... we all have a pair...... As for getting your hopes up.... pretty much impossible not to. Every twinge.... every thought that it might have been a twinge (even thought it could be gas) but every "sign" .....Ohhhhh maybe... just maybe.

ll80....Laura..... Completely understand your anxiety. My one month was a week before yours, it didnt help that AF was visiting.... I cried at anything... I cried for nothing... I just cried. I wondered how I would cope mentally if i acutally did get the BFP..... and I really just do not know. Part of me thinks I will become this mother who talks to her stomach ALL the time...l because in the back of my mind I will be taking every possible moment I can..... But I really just do not know how I m going to cope with it. ..... big hug for you

Anthonysmom..... I m glad your tests are over.... Through my IVF cycle and the operations before the IVF.... I really was sick of it all.... I quickly forgot about it all when I got the BFP and my little angels started growing. Have fun with the BD and if i dont see you over the next few days......' I KNOW WHAT YOU VE BEEN DOING '

Nickster..... fingers crossed for you girl

Katiegirl...... Glad to hear DH and you are both feeling closer again. DH and I had a major chat while we were away. The whole process over the last 6 months has driven a wedge between us and its something that just has to be worked on.

Ok well where am I at.... Well i forgot to pack my thermometer so havent taken my temps while I was away. I am here tonight and tomorrow night and then up the the Sunshine Coast for another damn conference..... The only good part is that Hubby comes with me.... so on Valentines Day..... which by the way sits in perfectly with "o".... hubby and I will be locked away in our room to be undisturbed . Tuesday Morning I m back for pre "o" accapunture. I then go and pick up my babies. I took them to the crematorium on the 8th of January and picked out the urn. Typical me type fashion.... I liked the one that had to be imported from the states. Apparently it has now arrived and I will be picking it up, with my babies now in it, on tuesday after my accupunture..... I m quite anxious about it... I then have to go straight up to the coast so i m not sure whether to take them with me or leave them at home.... isnt that strange... Could you imagine the people who clean the motel rooms coming through and seeing an urn.... but then again i just feel strange about leaving them at home on their first night back.... I know I know I know.... sounds like the most insane comment you could make.... but thats where I m at... I feel bad about possibly leaving them at home....

Anyway..... To every one i havent gotten to.......

Here s to a great week and a couple of BFP

[tempus moriendi]

Thanks everybody. FIL still status quo. not better or worse. and my chart still looks funny.

hopingsoon: as long as your temp doesn't go below the coverlid (and you dont' have full flow), it counts as an elevated temp and you're still in the luteal phase. you can have some fluctuation. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Katiegirl: my understanding is that every other day is partly so you can see the CM, but also because it gives the sperm adequate time to build back up. but remember, this is just stacking the odds. Plenty of people do it every day and get preg, and we've all heard stories of some little teenybopper who did it only once and got preg.

Angel Babies: sending cyberhug for encouragement when you have to pick up your precious babies urn. I can't imagine how heartrending. I'll be praying for you.