TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 08

[Trac73]

Hi everyone
I am feeling alot better today and thankyou to everyone for there well wishes.
Katiegirl - i agree with your sister i think you should start trying when it feels right for you and your family. I was told that i had to wait until at least May before i could start trying again but i amready now so i will be starting TTCing as soon as possible it just feels like the right time.

I think tonight is the night.

I am really not sure about the temp thingy or the big O thingy i feel like such a virgin in regards to all this even though i have m/c three times. There has been no discussions with doctors in regards to charting etc. i am gaining so much new information from you lovely women.

Take Care and Happy TCCing
Trac

[tempus moriendi]

nicksterUK: so glad you're feeling better and work went okay!

Issa: I'm so sorry for your loss. I"ll be praying for you.
Actually, I have heard of fetal resorption, but I didn't know that they still "do" that nowadays. But it sounds like you had lots of monitoring.
My own longest time between onset of bleeding and passing the baby was 6 days. But the wee one had died 4 weeks before bleeding started.

smilanatu: I'm sorry for your loss. I"ll be praying for you.

SamiH: yeah, it makes me cranky too when I see pregnant ladies smoking and drinking.

Trac73: I understand your ambivilance and fear. When I get AF, I feel equal parts regret and relief. I know that sounds completely mental for being on a TTC forum and all, but it's how I feel. Sending cyberhug. Never heard of the gender thing, but maybe you're on to something--medical science doesn't know everything.

ll80: I have hypothyroidism, too. It's easily treated with levothyroxine and I carried three healthy babies while on it. But you may want to get tested for antithyroid antibodies, too. And PLEASE put your feet up and rest.

bettyboop: my best wishes are with you. temp went down, AF should follow. if not, you know what to do...

[Baby Angels]

All I did was sleep and you lot all woke up and posted.... now i m all confused as to replies..... I m not good at this multi post thing but here goes.

Tempus..... how is everything going with you?

Trac..... Completely agree with everything being when it feels right for each individual person. Straigt after I lost my babies I read some posts in here about trying again and i just couldnt imagine doing it. Now less than a month later i ve been charting and if it the BD worked last week then cool. Each person, every one of us must go through this process of grieving and TTCing at our own pace. Its our own personal journey.

Smilanatu....welcome... welcome.... welcome... hope you enjoy your stay but hope its not along one..... I wonder, is there a thread for those who where have been TTC after M/C or loss who are now BFP..... that way we can all stay together, or at the least come back and tell us what link you are in. when you get the BFP

BettyBoop...........Happy Birthday for yesterday. I saw it on the front page and kept an eye out for you yesterday to say happy birthday but didnt see you. Hope it was a great day. As for DH and then non special bit...... grrrr to him. My hubby knows i want special for my birthday and i m gonna be a grumpy b1tch if he doesnt do it. He knows full well that I believe birthdays should be over and above all other days and the day should revolve completely around that person. So its like he has this mission. Each year he has decided he has to make each birthday better than the last one......... at this rate.... i m soo looking forward to my 80th. As for the charting, well still to much of a beginner on that one.

Nickster............. You crack me up. I m sitting here on my puter reading the posts, laughing out loud. Hubby turns round and looks at me.... I m ohhhh its nickster again...... blah blah blah blah... and i tell him what you said. Its amaizing how he knows most of you, because he was like... ohhh thats the lady from the UK. To add to your comment..... why stop at the kitchen. Last time we moved we had a dice.... and this is going to be far to much information for some of you but at least I m warning you ahead of time. There were 2 dice. One which had rooms of the house and the other... well positions. It was our favourite game for months.

Ok well I think I successfully did the whole multi post thing. Now as for me and what I m up to. Well I brought this you beaut program that not only charts for you but tells you each day what the chart means. Really good for us newbies. So now I know that I am 2 days post 0. That during 0 there was a lot of jiggy or BD and that now i am in my 'infirtile stage of my cycle". Having said that, it is the first cycle since i lost my babies so it could also be totaly off balance. So now I am in the holding pattern ..... waiting.. waiting.... waiting, cant even call it a TWW as it could go on for longer or shorter. Which is not a good thing it just brings more uncertainty. My last IVF cycle while i didnt like the TWW at least i could count down to D day. At the moment i have nothing to count down to. Which for someone like me who likes everything to go to plan and how SHE planned it. well i m just up the creek without the paddle arent I.

I do have to say something though, I am so greatful for finding you ladies, I am so greatful for finding this web site. The pain I have been in and what I have gone through has been softened by knowing you all and being able to talk to you all. These days I am positive, I can joke around, only on here... cant do it with face to face people yet, but i can on here and thats whats helping me to heal. Thats whats allowing me to see parts of the normal me instead of the constant grieving me. Thats what helps me to keep my head up. As for my babies, I still talk to them everyday but up above instead of in my tummy. I am waiting for the crematorium to call me. I have an Urn coming over from the states, it was the most beautiful angel hand carved out of marble. Once it arrives the crematorium will put my babies ashes in it and then call me so I can pick it up. In the meantime I continue to work on my memorial Scrapbook. I ve decided to do 4. One for each of my babies, a combined one for DH parents and an IVF one to show the IVF journey. I have never done scrapbooking before and never thought I would. But....... I want these to represent how much I loved and how much I was prepared to go through for my babies and then how much they are missed.

Ok well I think thats me all done and caught up. Have a wonderful day ladies

[ll80]

good luck with your scrapbooking Angel, I am sure you will do a wonderful job, hopefully as time goes by you will be able to look through all those memories without so much pain.
big :hugs: your such a strong lady!

Nickster, when we first get to Melb we'll be staying at my dad's so might have to stay off the kitchen bench for a while or that could be quite embarrassing. When we get our new house though will be on for young and old and no surface is safe!

Happy Birthday BettyBoop!

Hi to everyone else, I hope that you're all traveling well.

I can rest and relax for a few days now, the movers have been and taken all our gear this morning, so nothing to do except pack clothes into suitcases. We fly down on Monday so a few days to go. Only downer is my nice new computer is packed away and I am on an old piece of junk with a piece of sh*t ergonomic keyboard, these things were invented for torture and typos.
I am feeling a bit better to thanks for all the slaps I needed and enjoyed them, oops sorry probably TMI :P

Well thats about all can't stand this keyboard anymore
...Laura

[Anthonysmom]

happy b-day bettyboop. hoping AF comes and brings you a present.

[bettyboop]

Roll on friday i have a hospital app, at long last.

[nicksterUK]

Angel Babies- I know exactly what you mean about being more 'yourself' here and joking about a bit, I find it very therapeutic. Of course it's balanced by other feelings too, as we all share our ups and downs and I so look forward to saying Hi to all, and wondering if anyone has any good news etc and if you're all ok. It's like a family/sisters only a different type of bond due to what we've all been through. (Very profound for 10pm!!) Your scrapbboks sound amazing, I don't have anything to remind me apart from my medical notes- but they mostly chart all the horrrible stuff at the end. DH wants to plant a tree in the front garden and says we'll never be able to move house unless we take the tree with us!!
DH and I have dice too (body parts on one and 'what to do' on the other!) And we play (not since last summer though) 'Strip Trivial Pursuit' He always loses haha!!

BettyBoop- (Happy belated birthday) sorry you didn't get the treats you deserve xx Good luck with your appt and got everything crossed for you.

Trac- Good Luck TTC. Hope BFP for you soon xx

Laura- Know what you mean about getting jiggy in 'the parents house'. DH and I would not dare!! My step-father gave us the talk (yes, even at our age, 34 and 38!!) We're too scared in case we make a noise!

Tempus- Still going okay at work thanks, the days are so busy I don't hav etime to stop and eat let alone think, iykwim?

smilanatu- stil think it's a great tag, hope you're ok (and Sami too)
Hiya Anthonysmom & AJC too.

Best get some sleep now as I have full on teaching day tomorrow with parent's evening till 7 so it will be a long (knackering) day. DH is busy wriitng reports (haha finished mine!) so no BD tonight.
G'night ladies, wishing you all well x

[nicksterUK]

Angel- Just remembered, (I had to get out of bed and put the laptop back on for this!) there is a thread for those who conceive after miscarriage, where we can all still stay in touch later- it's 'Pregnancy after miscarriage or loss' (PAML) which is found on BB's homepage. (Had a sneaky look to see how happy they all are grrrrr.....(tortured myself for 10 minutes- don't do it if you're feeling fragile!) but seriously, it looks as lovely and supportive as we are over here on our thread- only they already have their good news. Fingers crossed we'll all join them soon x

[tempus moriendi]

Angel Babies: I think I"m on the second day of the temp shift. But I don't want to go on the TWW thread until I know tomorrow for sure. What's the name of the program you're using? Good luck! Actually, I went to high school with a girl who had a surprise preg after the whole IVF thing.

ll80: oh well, at least you have SOME computer to use. I get withdrawal symptoms when I"m off the internet too long!

bettyboop: I really hope you get some answers finally...

nicksterUK: I maintain that sometimes it's nice not to think.

[Katiegirl]

Hi all. Everyone sounds like they are doing a bit better the last few days. I have had a smile on my face reading through all the threads.

Okay so I need some advise (I also wrote this in TTC after Late loss thread). My cycle has been all over the place, but we decided to TTC anyway. The last few days I have been feeling really hot (especially when I am in bed). This is exactly how I felt with Nathaniel - but didn't realise until about 5 weeks that I was late - durr. So...if I only conceived say 5 days ago would it be too early to have any symptoms? I am trying really hard not to get excited, but it is of course inevitable. The naturopath has me taking my temps (but not with a BBT just a normal one) and I am due to see her Tues. The last couple of days my temp has been 36.3 and this morning was 36.5. I am thinking I ovulated last week, which would put me in the infertile stage (is that the luteal?) - so should my temp be dropping?

Aagghhh - DH and I have decided that if the news is good - then great!!! If I get AF, then at the very least we know that I am getting a regular cycle again and can start planning better.

[bettyboop]

Fingers crossed for you Katiegirl.

[Katiegirl]

Thanks Bettyboop. I have decided that I am getting way ahead of myself, and am stepping back so as to avoid disappointment. It would be a miracle if we were pregnant so soon, so will just wait and see. Still feeling flushed, but have checked temp and don't have a fever. So not sure what is going on. I will talk with my naturopath on Tuesday about it.

Good luck for your appointment tomorrow, I hope you get some answers.

[AJC]

Bettyboop - sorry didn't see your birthday was the other day so a belated 'Happy Birthday'. I hope everything goes ok for you tomorrow. Your chart looks like af should be right on your doorstep?

Hi Kategirl: temping can be all over the place sometimes. With my lutel phase my temp usually increases until around 2 days prior to af (last month however it remained high right up until day af arrived). The average length of a luteal phase is around 14 days but varies from woman to woman. So to sum it up - you should have 'around' 14 high temp days after you O. To get a good idea you can visit the fertility friend website and look at other peoples charts - I found this helpful.

Hugs for everyone

[STARRYSKY]

hi everyone,
wow you girls can chat!

issa, I had a missed mc back in aug, I should have been 9w5d but hadnt progresssed past 4-5 wks....was advised to have d&c due to risk of infection.
my bros gf had a mc around the same time as me, she had some cramping so went for a us, where they told her she was mcing, she went to the loo and thought it was all out, then her insides were all full of blood, many ultrasounds a hospital stay and a close encounter with a methotrexate needle (didnt happen tho) they realised the sac had adhered to her previous cecarean scar, then another few weeks later was given the all clear, that was in nov, so all up 4 mths she went thru all that. poor girl.

anyway, I have 3 more days till I poas, and I will wait till then, i hope, managed to score a pack of opks from work for free that were going out of date so if no luck this month I will be hopefull for next.
am having lots of weird niggly pains in the lower tummy region, also woke up feeling queasy this morning, I refuse to get my hopes up tho, I will not do this to myself again.
best of luck to all in the tww.
fingers crossed.
xxx
ps, happy birthday bettyboop.xxx hope you had a beautiful day and got spoilt rotten!

[Baby Angels]

Wow catch up time.....

Before I start check out this Avatar I ve got......Its amaizing how they do them. I just had to describe myself and wham..... there you go. I love the way that have my babies represented with the blue and pink heart ballons floating in heaven (up in the clouds)...... To who ever actually physcially designed the Avatar.... THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, now with that said... time for multi post.

Starrysky..... I completely understand about refusing to get your hopes up. I m "post o" in the normal cycle world and certainly made good on the jiggy jiggy BD when I was "o" but having said that it is my first cycle since loosing my babies and it could be absolutely nothing. But reality is, with the change in our habits and having had a rediculous amount of Endo removed, it could well and truly be a BFP. I cant do it to myself though, so I prefer.... to keep my sanity..... to just think of it as being in a holding pattern.... I will either get a visit from AF or I will get a huge smile on my face with a BFP, but until then... i m just hangin

AJC... thanks for the temping advice.... constant learner here...

Katiegirl.... Same again..... I m doing the same thing. I think we have all been through so much lately that we automatically try and protect our emotions by not getting our hopes up.

Tempus..... I really dont think i could go to the TWW either. The programe is called "taking charge of your fertility software" "based on the book by Toni Weschler. I found it on lullaby . com. web site. It makes it soooo easy for me... and i love it easy...LOL Now as for finding out tomorrow, I ll be logged on waiting to see how you go.

Nickster.....Thank You Thank You Thank You..... getting out of bed just for me.....also probably cause it was keeping you awake... but i m just going to believe it was just for me. I actually saw a thread like that after I left the post. So now I have this major issue........ If it turns out that AF doesnt visit and I get the BFP instead, how do i go to that thread. Not physically how do I get there but emotionally, how would I go there.... It brings up the whole what if i m/c again. What if i have another little angel baby. I sort of felt like I would want to be here with you all and just pretend I m on a 12 week wait.

Ohhh and by the way.... very profound for that late for you, but ......... soooooo true..... Its a bond that we all wish we didnt have but we are all glad that we do have it. (in the normal world that makes no sense at all)

No as for the trivial persuit...... Not here.... I am soooo not good at it. Seeing as though I am so much more of a direct person.... "here is a question for you DH... I will be upstairs waiting for you and you will be (a) bounding up the stairs behind me taking two stairs at a time (b) thinking about it for a while and then coming upstairs (c) coming upstairs in and hour to find me asleep or (d) sleeping on the couch "....... his answer better be (a) or he will deffinatly be (d) sleeping on the couch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for my scrapbooks, well they arent easy. In our business I do designs everyday and the worst thing about a designer is that it has to be perfect. Each page is planned out and then done again and again and again. then and only when i look down at it and go yep.... that looks good, do i glue it all down. So sometimes I will get quite a few... one page after another... sometimes i find it hard to get one done each day.

Bettyboop..... Good luck tomorrow...... As with tempus.... i will be logged on to see how you go

Anthony s mum...... Hugs.... how is it all going????

ll80.... Strong..... hmmmm funny how I certainly do not see myself as strong. I see myself as someone who struggles every day, I look forward to the day where I can speak to people face to face without the feeling of desperatly needing to run and hide. I look forward to the day when my thoughts are clearer and when the sun comes out brighter. But I will tell you something.... all of you..... you all help me as you also help each other to be stronger .... to be able to face people and to be able to continue to move on.... one day at a time..... and for that.... I owe you all so much....

[smilanatu]

I am reading through and I too have been extremely hot lately. In the past three nights I have literally woke up sweating...the temp hasn't changed inside the house and there are no extra covers...wonder what's going on...hmm

[treelo]

Boy there are so many new faces in here. I have been ttc since my last m/c and nearly everyone that was in here has moved on to precnancy after m/c, "sigh"

I had a heap of bloodwork done last week and all is normal, but im still experiencing unusual cycles and strange bleeding and other strange symptoms. My dr has put it down to stress although i really feel better than have in ages. I have my two boys and a wonderful DH so im certainly feeling blessed. Im the Registra of the Junior Football Club so im kept extemely busy and occupied. So i dont know why im stressed and why im still not pregnant 7 months on. We took a small break over christmas in the hope that it would happen without my organising days to BD but still nothing...... I havent been in here much as i felt like a bit of a failure with everyone else getting pregnant, but i think i need a little support from understanding people now, because im really lost as to why its not my turn??

hugs
treelo

[cherie26]

Treelo
I am sorry you are feeling so down:hugs:. I just wanted to let you know that I went through exactly the same as you. I went in for numerous tests to see what was going on but as my ob told me some bodies just take a little longer to get back to "normal". I had mid cycle spotting, my af was as long as 45 days but each cycle got a little better and shorter until the month I conceived I ovulated at my pre pregnancy time (used opk's and temping) and that was when my body was ready to be pregnant again. It took 7 months which felt like a life time but it just wont happen before our body says it is ready.
I know it is tough but I know your time will come. Take care!