TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ March 08

[danielsgirl1113]

Hi everyone. I am new here, I just found this site lastnight. My husband and I found out on Thursday (march 6th) that the baby we were expecting had passed. I was very early in pregnancy (I was 10 weeks but the baby's heart had stopped about a week before). This was our first time of being pregnant, we just started trying in December and was over joyed to conceive so quickly. Now I feel like part of my heart is missing, and I also feel a little bit like a failure. I went to the hospital on Friday (march 7) and had a D and C because the Dr. said I had a missed-miscarriage. My husband and I both want to start trying to conceive as soon as possible. I am looking forward to being pregnant again and praying that when it does happen that I will have a healthy baby. I am worried about another miscarriage, but I have been told that a lot of women miscarry the first time and go on to have lots of healthy babies. I have so many questions about what to expect, and I just know that this message board will be amazing support for me.

I just wanted to introduce myself and say Hi. I look forward to getting to know all of you.

[Katiegirl]

Hi Danielsgirl. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. You have certainly come to the right place and I hope you find comfort and support amongst this forum. I will keep you in my prayers, as I know how difficult the loss of a much longed for baby is.

Take care and a big hug.

[Natty]

Hi Ladies

I feel like an intruder writing in here as you seem to know each other all so well but I am hoping to share a part of that too!

I actually had a question to ask. We had a D&C in early Feb - missed m/c at 8.5 weeks. My first AF after was 27 days but prior to being pregnant it was 29 days. DH and I have been BD'ing every second day since 6 days post AF (not for TTC - just because we felt like it!) and its now day 11 post AF. My girlfriend said that we shouldnt be doing that - that we should be BDing from about day 12 every day to day 16 post AF so that DH's swimmers werent diluted. Because I dont know what my body is doing post D&C I just figured to take each day as it comes and enjoy my DH.

i dont really know too much about TTC - it just seemed to happen with DD and our little Angel baby.

Wishing everyone a BFP really soon!

Natty

[berecca623]

Angel - I also heard about Biggest Loser that their week is more like 9 - 14 days so their "weekly" loss is greater. That and they have no life. Makes me question some of the people they have highlighted too. Like those 2 guys who didn't make it in yet one of them manages to train 5 times a day??? Obviously someone is a dole bludger!!!

Danielsgirl - I am truly sorry for your loss. Everyone here understands how you feel but I promise you there is nothing that you did, or could have done, to change what happened. My DH and I also lost our first pregnancy in November 07 and we are TTC again. I hope that we all get a BFP soon and then deal with the nerves of being pg!

Natty - your friend is assuming that you ovulate on CD14 and this is not always the case. I have a regular 28 day cycle but o on CD16 (or have for the last two months I have been charting anyway!) Unless your DH has some problem with his swimmers there is no reason why you can't BD every second night! If it has happened before why wouldn't it again? Has your friend ever been pg? If so that may have worked for her but everyone is different and have different things work for them!

As for me, feeling crampy and gassy the last couple of days, not good signs, think AF is on her way. Will POAS Sunday morning but not much hope this month. Not sure what else we can do. We chart, use OPK's, BD for the nights we need to, I have been relaxed all month, trying not to think about it all. What else is there????

[Jodsan]

Welcome Danielsgirl, you have come to the right place. I'm so sorry for your loss, big hugs After my MC, with the help of the BB girls, I eventually let go and accepted that its just natures way (after many neurotic moments where I too felt like a failure and blamed myself for drinking a cup of coffee or going too hard at the gym!). There is nothing you could have done, not all of our eggs can be perfect, and not all of our DH's sperm can be perfect. BUT, there are some perfect ones and you will get your baby. Chin up.

Welcome too Natty, I am so sorry for your loss, big hugs to you too Yeah,I agree with Berecca, your friend is probaby just telling you what worked for her and from my short time with BB I can see that we are all sooooo different. It sounds like the perfect way to conceive to me, cos sperm live for 3-5 days, so even if you dont BD on O day, you will either be BDing on the day before or the day after so you should be in with a pretty good chance. Good luck, stick around and keep us informed.

[Natty]

Thanks Jodie and Bec. My girlfriend is TTC#1 and is going by the book Natural Fertility. She seems to think that by BDing too often then the swimmers will be diluted and there wont be too many left by the time you BD just prior/when you ovulate (hence reducing the likelihood that a swimmer will penetrate the egg).

I guess for me, like most of us, I just want to be pregnant soon - especially given that is all I have thought about since our m/c!

Natty

[Baby Angels]

I really do seriously hate welcoming people into our little thread. I hate the fact that another person has gone through what we have gone through. Danielsgirl and Nattie..... I hate to welcome you.... but Welcome. Hopefully you wont be here for long. Its such a strange little place... we don t want anyone here and we want those that are here gone...... gone off into the world of Pregnant after Miscarriage. So here s to neither of you staying here for long..... or any of us for that matter

My absolute number one piece of advice..... Do what is right for you! Dont worry about other peoples opinions on what you should be doing or not doing.... You morn your loss in your way ONE DAY AT A TIME! When you feel that its time to TTC again then go for it... most Dr s will say wait until after your first period after miscarriage..... but that didnt stop me or for that matter most of the (wonderful) ladies in here. You do what is right for you! The biggest thing the highest proirity is for you to heal. Only you know how to do that.

Soooo welcome to our little group...... put forward what your best cyber cake recipee is...... its a volunteer thing with the cakes..... and huge hugs to you both

Now Nickster.... Katiegirl.....Starrysky........ and all the other BFP s still lurking around (cause we dont want you to leave ) I was havin a chat to my accupunturist today. She is convinced that this cycle is going to be the "winner" I had to inform her that our biggest hurdle at the moment was DH and I actually talking to each other during "o". Annnnnywayyyyy I started talking to her about you guys. About how difficult it is once you are BFP. She looked at me shocked and asked why, I explained it to her and she understood but she told me to instruct you all to go and see a chinese herbalist. Apparently there is some wonder thing available (6 herbs or whatever in it).....gee you can tell I pay attention to everything.... Annnnywayyyyy this capsual is available world wide that is a combination of herbs to assist in the longevity of the pregnancy after miscarriage... Now I m not claiming to be any chinese herb guru.... I can say that I take upwards of 20 per day and if I end up with a BFP that sticks... then thats a hell of a lot better than IVF could do..... I look at my accupunturist, she is mid 50s with the energy I ve only seen in teenages. She is a little pocket rocket that is just vibrant. Energy levels that I would be dangerours with. (hey maybe that would put a smile back on DH).... i m sorry... I keep digressing tonight.... Annnnywayyyyy if your interested I will email her and ask her for more information. I think you would probably have to message me for me to be able to pass the information on. Last time I put something in a thread it was classed as inapropriate to do so and i got my hand smacked by BB..... Ohhhh I m a rebel with a bad mark next to my name. I will try not to lead you all astray.

You see... I m digressing again....If your interested let me know. I will say... I have NEVER had ovary pain.... I ve read about the twinges you get during "o" I now get them.... i now get a lot of things I never used to get.

Ok.... Going now....

[nicksterUK]

welcome Danielsgirl and Natty- so very sorry to hear your sad news. I hope you find comfort and the answers you need from the wonderful ladies here :hugs:

Thanks for the gorgeous cyber-cake Angel- very scrummy indeed! Congrats on your fitness kick, lookin' good hun x

Hi to all, huge hugs all round and good luck this month xxxxxxxx

When we were TTC we bd'd every other night/day (no matter what) when I thought I was due to 'o'- and even a couple of times either side to cover all the bases. (Then I went off bd completely for weeks- either my body already knew it was successful- or it was just rebelling due to the overdose of jigginess )
Anywayyyyyyyyy (Angel! that's your fault) every 2 days worked for us, so really heartfelt best wishes to those who are getting jiggy xxxxxxxxxxx

Canary- my ticker got stuck ages ago and I couldn't sort it out so I just did myself a new one and replaced it- it was fine after (and I could still use the same design.) if you still have no luck try lilliepie x

[treelo]

Hello All,

Danielsgirl and Natty, im so sorry for your losses, i hope your stay is short.

Angel babies - Im in Brisbane and would love the name and address, could you pm it to me....thanks heaps. I have decided that i am not going continue trying once i reach 37 and im going to be 36 this year, so i need to get a move on.

Tempus - I agree, it really puts me down when i get attitude from people like that, even if they are meaning well.....its very disheartning.

Everyone else - im sorry for the lack of personals, im running late getting my son ready for school.
I hope your all doing really well and im praying we get some more bfp's in here soon.

Hugs to all
treelo

[danielsgirl1113]

Hi everyone,
Thank you for the warm welcome. I'm so glad I found this site. I didnt even know sites like this exsisted, but thank God they do. I am not use to some of the abbreviations that you use on here, ( I have a good idea what some of them mean but as for the acutal words I'm at a loss. ) I am looking forward to recovering from my D & C so that my husband and I can resume our bedroom life. When I was having complications with my pregnancy the Dr said to hold off until my next appointment ( a month later ) and then when we went to the appointment we found out that we lost our angel. I know everyone is different as far as the recovery from a D&C, I hope I recover soon. I had it done on the 7th. I didnt have any bleeding at all until some spotting on the 10th and then an actual "flow" on the 11th that I still have. ( Please forgive me if this is TMI, I'm sorry! ) I am awaiting my Dr's appointment on the 27th of this month, ( The day after my 27th birthday). I hope that all goes well and that she says we can try for a baby again soon. I found a charm online that is for women who had experienced a M/C and my husband is going to order it for me. I think it will help to have something close to me to phyically remind me of my angel, eventhough I will never forget. I'm sorry for rambling, I hope each of you have a great day, and I hope for good news for everyone! Hugs!!

[smilanatu]

Okay, so this is our first "official" try since mc. We did BD all week, my fingers are crossed!

Welcome danielsgirl,Seenabeena and any others I may have read over. As the other ladies have stated I am truly sorry for your losses, but this forum and the wonderful ladies in it will give you hope!

Congrats to all the BFPs!!!

Everyone have a wonderful weekend!

[tina_k]

well girls, ive been away from my computer for a few days, and have sooo much to catch up on!I have had a friend and her beautiful 10 month old bub staying over for a few days..it was so wonderful to play with him,a nd hold him in my arms...so hanging to have my own to hold....

firstly:
Danielsgirl, Natty & seenabeena - welcome. as everyone else has said, so sorry you have to be here, but its a wonderful source of support.

to all the BFP's: girls, my thoughts are with you, wishing you all wonderful healthy pregnancies

to everyone else, im really praying that a few more of us get BFP's tis month, and get some xmas present babies!

thanks to all of you who have offered words of wisdom re BDing when parents are next door! you all brought a smile to my face! Not sure if well be albe to sneak out, definitely no beach around here, but i guess well just have to be really quiet! Im def not missing out on this opportunity...when its "o" time its "o" time!!!!!!!

Have a lovely weekend...

[Jodsan]

Hi everyone, thanks for all your support, aweful day yesterday, first time I have seen my Dad cry Glad its over though.

Geez I'm feeling grumpy and hormonal today, I am due to O tomorrow but it's really coming on strong. I must have some weird hormonal balance, after my really lumpy boobs leading up to AF, I have had the worst stomach/uterus/ovary cramps leading up to O this week. I usually only have slight ovary pain for a couple of hours when I O but it's going to be more difficult to detect this month (I dont do temps). Bit annoying since we were trying the 2 day cut off to TTC a girl. Does anyone else get this full on hormonal lead up? Is it normal?

Smilanatu - I'm so sorry for your loss, fingers crossed for you this month sweetie

AJC - big hug sweetie . Hoping all the pregnant women at the resort did rub off on you and you get a BFP this month.

Brockstar - It's sounding really promising, sending you lots of

Tempus - Good luck hatching the eggies this week!!

Trac - Thinking of you and your dad sweetie. Now you take some time out for you and get busy BDing

Seenabeena - Welcome, but I am so sorry for your loss. I feel the same way as you, mixed emotions, terrified and excited about the prospect of a BFP again. We're all here to offer support and cyberhugs, hope you get a BFP really soon.

Big hello to everyone else, sending you lots of