Klee I am so sorry to hear of your loss, I can't possibly imagine what you are going through, but just wanted to let you know I'm another face in the sea of people around to support you.
I think all you can do at the moment is be true to yourself - say what you need to say, cry when you want to cry, be angry if that's what you want or even laugh when you feel you're ready too again. Don't feel you have to grieve, and finish grieving, by anyone else's time line. Do what you need to do to get through every day, and I believe you will get through every day, honey.
Love and prayers are with you, your family and Phoebe.
xox