Hi Kerry,

Thanks for your post. I just have to say that your DD is absolutely stunning! She is just gorgeous.

I think maybe I need a purely selfish vent, rather than just crying everyday on my own. I just don't want to offend anyone who has been through so much more than me by carrying on about how crap things are for me at the moment when I haven't gone through the pain of losing a baby in the second tri or later, and I have only had 2 m/cs, yet still I feel so very depressed and alone. I do read the threads all the time and think about you guys a lot, and wish so very much for a happy healthy pg for you all.

I feel like I am just not handling things and sometimes think we should just give up, even though all I have ever really wanted was a family. Even when I was a child, I knew how very much I wanted my own children to love. If it isn't to be, I am happy to adopt - I just want to love and care for a child, as I (and my Dh) have so much love to give (and our cat and dog get way too much attention!). I just don't feel like we can give up yet, but this road is so hard and scarey - I don't feel like I have actually been happy or 'myself' for so long now, and there is nothing I can do to get the 'old' me back. Your grandmother is right - we are not given things we cannot handle, no matter how bad things seem, we do go on, even when we think we can't do it any longer. I just wish things could be easy. I know no one said life would be easy, but for some of us, I just think it is time we were given a break.

Sorry, I am going on... Thank you for posting here, I am thinking of you and wishing for you to have another beautiful child to keep your lovely DD company