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thread: Trying to Conceive after Late Loss/Recurrent Miscarriage/Stillbirth ~ March 09

  1. #181
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Canberra
    670

    posted twice!


  2. #182
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Canberra
    670

    Hi everyone

    Teagz - congrats on the official BFP - that's fantastic news. Good luck with the b/t tomorrow - I hope your levels are amazing

    Beata - good luck with the scan on Monday, you'll be in my thoughts. How are you feeling? Hope your not stressing out too much!

    DD - thanks for the well wishes. Good luck with your NT scan on Monday - are you having a b/t as well or just the scan? What a milestone! Anyway, hope all is fine and it will be exciting to see your little bubba again! I hope this gives you some reassurance and you can relax a bit more.

    NaeNae - thanks for popping in and checking up on us. It's nice to have a friend to experience the pg journey with, so it's good that you and DD are so close in EDDs.

    to Hammi, Dee and Berry and everyone else!

    AFM, I went into work yesterday for a few hours. Everyone was lovely, maybe a bit too nice IYKWIM? I felt like everyone was walking on egg shells around me! I shed a few tears in the big boss' office but he was fine with that - he didn't ask me any uncomfortable or personal questions, just left it all work stuff which I appreciated. I spent the whole morning fighting back my tears as there were so many reminders of my pg such as ginger tea in my drawer, and my dates I had planned to start maternity leave written in my diary, etc. I hated having to leave the safety of my little cubicle area to get a drink of water as I didn't want to run into too many people. When I finished at lunchtime, I barely made it down to my car without dissolving into a blubbering mess. I quickly drove out of the basement carpark and burst into huge sobs. I had to pull over onto the side of the road because I couldn't see to drive. I think it was a bit of relief that I had finally managed to begin returning to a normal routine but it was also recognition that things would never be 'normal' again. I felt like everyone was looking at me thinking, "her baby died - how sad". Anyway, sorry for rambling, but I got back on the horse and went into work again today for a few more hours. It was much better, thank goodness. I guess over time, everyone will begin to relax around me and so will I. While my work team had been given a brief idea of what happened and not to ask too many questions, unfortunately that doesn't extend to outside my team. I work in an open plan office and just as I was leaving I ran into a friend from another area, who didn't know I was pg, and he said "oh hi, you're back. what happened? are you alright?" I couldn't face his questions and I was running late for my psych session so I just cut him off with a "yes, I'm back part-time, sorry gotta run, bye". He probably thinks I was a bit rude, but I am going to have to learn to deal with this I guess as I know a few people in the building who will probably ask the same thing. I'm dreading Monday morning when I have to go in for a team meeting. Hopefully it's all work and then I'll be ok.

    Anyway, I am feeling a lot calmer and I found myself at work really taking a very different view of things from what I would have done in the past. Losing a baby has really reset my priorities to the things that really matter and I have come the realisation that apart from keeping my job, and therefore being competent, I am not going to get sucked into the vortex of stress and crises that often happens with my job. I am going to be sitting in the sea of calmness while the storms go on around me, well that's my new mantra anyway!

    Sorry for the long post!

    Take care all,
    Cherylxx

  3. #183
    Registered User
    Add helle on Facebook

    Sep 2008
    Bunbury, Western Australia
    3,963

    Chez, I just want to give you a huge cuddle! The first few days back are aweful, mine were very similar to yours... I don't really have any comforting words, just that time helps. Aww, I just wish I could give you a big huge hug! You're such a strong little cookie xx
    I'm glad you mentioned my BT tomorrow... I had actually forgotten about it.

  4. #184
    Registered User

    May 2008
    215

    Hi everyone, just popping in to say hi and congrats to Teagz!
    Big hug to Chez, it is really hard to get back into 'the world', even yesterday someone asked me what number this one is....I find it so hard to answer that question.

  5. #185
    Registered User
    Add helle on Facebook

    Sep 2008
    Bunbury, Western Australia
    3,963

    Oh sue, I hate those questions. I had a blood test today and the lady asked me if this was my first pregnancy, and I said no. And she gasped and said "How many children do you want to have?!" (as though I'm much to young for 2 babies!) I just told her one would be nice, to which she didn't understand and gave an awkward chuckle

  6. #186

    Oct 2005
    A Nestle Free Zone... What about YOU?
    5,374

    Teagz - I wanted to give you huge congratulations at your ... All my prayers are with you for a healthy LONG pregnancy...

  7. #187
    Registered User
    Add helle on Facebook

    Sep 2008
    Bunbury, Western Australia
    3,963

    Thanks Flowerchild! I feel a quite honoured to get a congrats from a mod haha

  8. #188

    Oct 2005
    A Nestle Free Zone... What about YOU?
    5,374

    We're just people too us mods... AND I know only too well from personal experience how tough the road is that you are travelling...

  9. #189
    Registered User
    Add helle on Facebook

    Sep 2008
    Bunbury, Western Australia
    3,963

    haha, I know. I only meant it coming from a you must be super busy sort of perspective.
    Thankyou
    Oh, while you're sort of out and about and online I was wondering... Would it be possible to start a fundraiser sort of thing to possibly put towards the new servers? I have read a few posts about people complaining (although I think you guys are going great guns keeping this place going, and it's high rep) and I have spoke to a few people who say they would put something towards it without a second thought. This place has offered so many people support, it would be nice to contribute back a little.

  10. #190
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Canberra
    670

    Hey Teagz - Thanks for your lovely words! I'm tryingto be strong And love your ticker! Hope the bt went well and that your levels are continuing to rise!

    Sue - I don't know how I will answer that question until the time arises, but usually I just say I don't have any children. It's just easier for me. But Teagz, I loved your reply to the question. Sometime I think people are just being chatty but you would think as nurses they would expect that they will come across people who have lost children so maybe just talk about the weather instead?

    AFM -had some old blood spotting last night and cramping today, so AF is probably on her way. I'm back into day 2 of morning treadmill workouts - have about 6kg to lose from pg weight and comfort eating! I guess I shouldn't give into my chocolate craving then should I?

    BBL xx

  11. #191
    Registered User
    Add helle on Facebook

    Sep 2008
    Bunbury, Western Australia
    3,963

    Chez, Yeah you would think being nurses they would be a little more tactful. The nurse I had for the previous blood test made a comment on my tattoo (i have jayvan's name tattooed across my wrist) and when I said it was my bubs name, but I lost him at 18 weeks she said something along the lines of "oh, well you know... if you're going to have a tattoo there you have to expect that people are going to ask you about it" But, I don't really mind people asking me about it.. so, I don't know why she got on her high horse for.

    How hard is it to get out of that pregnancy eating?!? Blah. It's the worst.

  12. #192
    Registered User
    Add Samcougar on Facebook

    Apr 2009
    NSW, Australia
    272

    Hi everyone,

    I really hope im in the right thread, anyway here goes,

    Our little boy Riley was born sleeping on the 26th March 2009, he is our first bub. Altho the days are getting better and i've been back at work now for a little over 2 weeks it still hurts and i guess it always will.

    We want to start TTC as soon as possible but i think i'd like to wait a couple of months to get things back to... well as normal as possible.

    anyway i just thought it would be nice to talk to some people who have been through the same thing.

    Thanx.

  13. #193

    Oct 2005
    A Nestle Free Zone... What about YOU?
    5,374

    Hi SamCougar and welcome to Belly Belly - I am just so sorry it is under such sad circumstances...

    I am so sad to read of the loss of your son Riley - thre are many of us here and on Belly Belly in general who sadly have walked similar paths to you. I am sure you will find lots of loving and caring peer support in here...

    Much love and support as you navigate your way through this journey...

  14. #194
    Registered User

    May 2009
    Melbourne
    80

    Hi everyone, another newbie here.

    Our son Luca was stillborn in January when I was 35 weeks pregnant. DH and I are starting to TTC this month. It took almost a year to conceive Luca. I hope it's quicker this time. I've been feeling very down with all the people who were pregnant at the same time as me having had their babies. It's really hard to see them all. And I have another 6 friends who are pregnant at the moment. I'm hoping that TTC (and hopefully being pregnant) will help a little.

    x Bec.

  15. #195
    Registered User

    Jul 2006
    Canberra
    670

    Hi Samcougar

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. As Flowerchild said there are many of us here who have sadly had similar experiences losing a baby. You are very strong for having returned to work so quickly. I am only just starting to return slowly for a few mornings each week. I have had the support of a psychologist who has helped me a lot and a few key people without whom I wouldn't have coped, even though some of them are many miles away. The ladies here at BB have been a great help. I hope you have some support people around you to help you through this time.

    Many people seem to be advised medically to wait 2 or 3 months before TTC again, but emotionally some are told to wait 12 months. You will know when the time is right to start TTC again. I am coming to the realisation that our loss has changed us so much that what was normal will never be normal for us again. I wish you all the best on your healing journey.

    Cheryl xo

  16. #196

    Oct 2005
    A Nestle Free Zone... What about YOU?
    5,374

    Hi Mummabec,

    Welcome to Belly Belly - I am so sorry it is under such sad circumstances...

    I am glad you found us - this is a beautiful site to be supported and loved by others who have had similar losses... I wish that we didn't need a place like this - but sadly we do and the women who make up this thread understand well...

    Your beautiful Luca looks so beautiful in his photos - and his Mama so courageous and strong. I have no doubt he looks down on you all with pride.

    All my love and support as you travel this road...

    As you are a new member I will give you the link HERe so you can read our guidelines.

  17. #197
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Where the sun shines
    322

    Samcougar, welcome to BB & our little thread. I am so terribly sorry to hear that you lost your precious son Riley . I felt the same way as you, wanted to ttc straight away. We waited 2-months then started. I pray that your ttc journey is a quick one If you have any questions, or if we can support you in any way, know that this is what we are here for.

    Teagz, great to hear that your BT went well and your little bubs is thriving in there. Lovely to see a ticker on your sign-off

    Cheryl, well done for getting through your first morning at work, not an easy thing to do at all. I am sure you will find that people will start 'relaxing' and acting more 'normal' before you know it. I can relate to you taking a different view on work / stress etc. Going through something as traumatic as losing a baby definetly puts a whole new perspective on life and what 'stressful' really is.

    Hi to Beata & Lan. Always thinking of you two wonderful ladies. I hope things are ok for you both.

    AFM, AF is due early this week. Even though DH and I had a great run ttc this month I highly doubt that I am preggo and am feeling very disappointed already. I am feeling quite down about it all at the moment, it is taking much longer than I thought it would and much longer than it did with Jasmine. The frustrating part is there is NOTHING that I can do about it, I have no choice but to keeping trying. Sorry about the major winge, finding it hard to cope and solider on at the moment.

  18. #198
    2014 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Dec 2008
    Melbourne, VIC
    4,637

    Hello ladies,

    First of all, welcome to our little corner Samcougar, and I am so sorry for your loss hun .
    Losing a child is the most heart breaking life experience, my heart goes out to you and your family. I am sure you will find much support and love here amongs us all.
    I wish you much success in TTC and I pray your journey is a short one and that you're holding your much loved little bub very soon

    Cheryl, I want to give you a big hug hun . I know coming back to work after a loss is very hard, and unfortunately it's something most of us have to do one day, and we are all here to support you and give you much needed encouragement.
    It does get easier, every day seems to get better, until one day you'll feel OK to go in and face your daily tasks and the people who work with you.

    Teagz, I'm glad everything is going smoothly for you hun and your bubbie is doing wonderfully! I love your ticker hun, how very exciting to finally see it sweetie!!!

    Megan, never give up hope hun, I know it sometimes seems like it's taking forever to see that much anticipated BFP, but hang on honey it will happen very soon, I can feel it in my waters!!!!!! I am doing a huge BFP dance for us all TTC, I would dearly love to see a BFP here very soon

    AFM, I am eagerly (and with much anticipation) waiting to see how my scan goes tomorrow, hopefully I am going to be on my TTC journer soon with you (Lan, Megan, Dee, Cheryl, Bec and anyone esle who I might have missed). I had a bit of a scare on Thursday, I woke up feeling really dizzy and on Friday the dizziness continued. I went in to the hospital as I was really freaking out, and they did a CT scan as they wanted to see that everything was OK. They said I have 'vertigo', where there is problem in my middle/inner ear and my balance is affected. I got a shot in my thigh, and they gave me some tablets to take, which seem to be helping. I really didn't need this with my upcoming FET, so we'll see how it all goes.

    Hello to all my other beautiful friends, I hope everyone had a nice weekend .

    Speak with you all soon.

    Beata xxxx

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