Trying to Conceive after Late Loss, Still Birth or Recurrent Miscarriage Feb/March 08

**Mel1977** · March 6th, 2008, 09:09 PM

Hope you girls dont mind me popping in... just wanted to say a big congrats to Katiegirl

What wonderful news, if it helps your peace of mind at all I asked Mark for regular bloods to be done for HCG and progesterone levels early on and he was more than happy for that to be done until we could monitor with ultrasound. And I didnt end up seeing him until just after my NT scan (my fault, work got in the way

) so he was happy to correspond by mail. Again, best of luck for a very H&H pregnancy. Sending lots of

to your bubba.

Also keeping

for Simba, I dont know you yet but will keep an eye out hopefully for some more good news!

Hi to everyone else, take care of yourselves

P.S. Barbara - are you having this month off TTC or are you going to keep going? Hope you are keeping well.

(sorry to crash

)

**tempus moriendi** · March 7th, 2008, 09:26 AM

VERY heavy period this time. But I had an fsh and estrogen today and the results came back normal.

Anybody else ever hear about estrogen dominence--where you have too much estrogen and not enough progesterone? I still think I have progesterone problems, but they're testing it next week, so I'll know for sure.

Katiegirl: congrats and again congrats!!!

jo76: sorry about all that...sending encouragement vibes...

Simba: all I can say is guys are just wired different, less expressive and stuff. don't rule out that he's being strong for you.

Anthonysmom: encouragement vibes to you, too...

**jo76** · March 7th, 2008, 03:47 PM

Firstly -
Katie! I am sooooooooooo excited! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am really really happy that this has happened for you! Good luck at your GP! Keep us all in the loop as we will be excitedly living through you until one of us gets the prego vibe our way...many cyber congrats hugs to you!

Simba - any news! Still holding out for you! best of luck!!!!!!

TM - looks like you and me are in the same boat with AF...don't know anything about the hormones tho! I hope someone can help you with more info.
Barbara - well done with renos and weight loss! Glad some positves are heading your way!

Yes, AF came my way, BIG TIME! Boy am I paying for all those days overdue! No cramps now but I have the heaviest bleeding again and this morning bled through a tampon and pad in an hour (which is excessive to me, i am wearing both for extra protection). So now because it is'nt even a normal AF as it is so heavy it has got me down and as its my birthday this sunday i was also hoping for some happy news but the other day really destroyed that line of thought. So I have been a bit teary today as i have fallen preg so easily before that i think i have taken it for granted a bit. So i think i have a bit of that as well. I think i have to remember that even though it feels like forever since Jack died it HAS only been 3 months and obviously my body even after all the blood loss still has some cleaning / sorting out to do. (for lack of a better way to put it) So it obviously is'nt meant to be my time yet.
So hope this month may be it as i have realised how much i want and need this to happen for me. Plus start of May is jacks EDD and i think i would like to have something going on before then....
have a good weekend everyone! I was going to the beach sunday but since my AF is so heavy i am a little nervous about that! hmmm...

katie - take care of you and bubs and relax!

xxxx

**Simba** · March 7th, 2008, 07:02 PM

hi, hope everyone is well. i am feeling really down tonight. went to my GP today - 1st time i have seen her since Lani died so was pretty emotional (both me and her). I wanted her to help me a bit with the anxiety i am feeling each morning. anyway she suggested councelling - which is already something i am on the way to doing and she also suggested taking a low dose of Zoloft (anti anxiety/anti depressant) i know meds wont fix everything but if it helps with the anxiety i think i would be able to get going with each day and get more done at work which in tern will help me feel less anxious. she reasured me that it was completely safe to take when ttc and when pg. so i left feeling like i'd kind of made a little step forward until the chemist gives me info to read about Zoloft and it says i shouldnt take it when ttc or pg!!! so now i dont know what to believe!!! i guess i will wait till i can call my GP and double check with her otherwise it will make the anxiety worse.

did test this morning - still BFN but no AF.

going to family holiday house for weekend so will catch up with you all next week.

take care and thanks for listening (reading!!)

sim
xoxo

**tempus moriendi** · March 8th, 2008, 08:13 AM

AF slowed down a lot and I feel normal again, but I put myself on iron because I must be anemic right now.

jo76: sending cyberhug because you sound so sad. my edd was 5/2/08, although I tend to commemorate the angelversaries instead because it reflects what really happened in the bub's life, rather than how I wanted it to turn out

Simba: I used to work in the pharmaceutical industry and the drug companies tend to be much more conservative in what they can put in the drug labeling than what docs actually prescribe it for. Did the brochure say absolutely not to be used in preg, or just that they had no information to support it? You might want to check online to see if there are any studies or anecdotal reports about pregnancy and zoloft

**Katiegirl** · March 11th, 2008, 08:27 AM

Hi Everyone.

Jo and Simba - I hope you are both feeling okay. It is such a rough road and even though we all know we have to stay positive it can be so difficult. Sending both a hug.

Barbara - how are the renos going? I hope March is a good month for you.

TM - same to you. You always offer everyone such wonderful and kind advice. I know you will have good news soon.

I am waiting on my BT results. I got all nervous and suddenly thought 'What if the dr meant for me to make an appointment today and therefore won't call'. So of course I called and left a message. Not sitting waiting for the phone to ring. For every time I manage to get positive and relax, some awful thought then comes and bites me. DH is trying hard not to get too attached to this bub just in case. I told him last night that we can't allow fear to rule our lives and spoil things for us. It is so hard to want something so much, but know all the things that can happen. I have the ob appointment in 2 weeks, so doing a countdown.

I will keep all of us in my prayers. I hope you all have lovely, happy and stress-free days.

**Simba** · March 11th, 2008, 07:34 PM

hi all,

its a bit quiet in here lately - hope you all had a nice weekend. dh and i had a really restful break down at the beach - surfing and swiming and finishing a book that i had started ages ago. so all in all a great few days. still no AF now up to CD 41! did test last night still BFN - i think i am starting to go crazy with this waiting!!! i just want to know either way. i am getting my hopes up as this was exactly what it was like with Lani almost to the day last year and i worked out that i didnt get BFP until day 45 with her. so not sure if she is up there controling it all? not sure if i really believe in all that but it is so weird how it is all playing out the same at the moment!!

TM - thanks for your advice - i am sure my Dr wouldnt have prescribed it unless it was safe - i will try and call her this week and double check. hope the iron helps you feel a bit better.

Katie - you are so in my thoughts at the moment. i can only imagine what it feels like now for you. wanting to be positive but not wanting to get too attached. i guess i can only offer my thoughts - i think about my time with Lani (9 months in my belly and 2 1/2 weeks outside) and although it wasnt enough it was her lifetime and i did everything then to make it special for her. so i guess now for you and hopefully all of us here soon that we must try and think of each day and how special it is to have that little living being with us. life is precious and sometimes painfully short but we can choose to make the most of every minute. sorry for preaching - hope that helps you. hope all is good with your BT results.

jo - Happy Birthday for Sunday - hope you had a great day and hope you managed to enjoy your time at the beach. Hope that AF is easing up and you are feeling positive for March.

Mel - nice to meet you and thanks for the well wishes.

StarBright - thanks also for sharing and for your support. it helps to know what might be ahead for me - i really appreciate it.

**tempus moriendi** · March 12th, 2008, 12:10 AM

I'm almost over AF--haven't spotted yet today, but it's only the morning. Then it's back to trying again. You gotta keep your sense of humor in this business or you'd go nuts

Simba: So glad you had a relaxing time with DH. It's so easy to get focused on baby-making and forget each other.
So you wrote a book? What's it about?

**Simba** · March 12th, 2008, 05:11 PM

TM - sorry to disappoint - only read a book not wrote one. i wish i was that clever - maybe one day!!

hope you are all well - still no AF for me not really sure what is going on but just trying to be positive and keep myself busy so i dont think about it too much.

take care
xox

**tempus moriendi** · March 13th, 2008, 09:23 AM

We get to start DTD tonite and I have mucus! Feeling very hopeful (yeah, TMI. I know, but I don't care.)

Simba: LOL! "finished a book" you started "ages ago". Naturally, I thought...oh, well, never mind.

**Katiegirl** · March 13th, 2008, 09:32 AM

Read a book, wrote a book....not too much of a difference!

TM - good luck with your cycle!

For some reason I have woken today feeling a lot more positive - and the only thing I can put it down to...is having to go to the toilet during the night. I think sub-consciously I have decided that is a good thing and that the pregnancy is sticking. Crazy! But at least I am getting a break from my round the clock worry. I am going to visit my mother this weekend, and escaping the grand prix in Melbourne. DH has his father and best friend coming to stay, and I decided I would disappear! Too much talk about cars, beer and testosterone for my liking.

**Anthonysmom** · March 13th, 2008, 10:51 AM

Hi ladies - sorry I have been gone awhile. renos keeping me busy and crazy. plus i ovulated a couple of days ago so...well you know DH and I were busy.

TM - Good luck catch that egg!!

Jo - Sorry for the heavy bleed. my period has been crazy heavy since m/c. and happy belated birthday. IKWYM about taking getting preg for granted. it seemed like DH sneezed and I was UTD with Anthony. But like you andall of us we have to be kind to our bodies b/c it hasn't been that long and we are still healing.

Simba - Sorry for the BFN but it ain't over til the fat lady sings. I have also heard of women taking zoloft when pregnant. i am so jealous of your weekend at the beach. I am so tired of this winter weather here in the states.

Katie - I love the positivity. I bet you were never so happy to have to pee. I remeber it bothered me so much with ANthony, now I can't wait to go every 3 hours. I agree with getting away. Too much testosterone stinks.

well I have been talking to my body for week now. Giving it plenty of praise hoping it helps with getting pregnant. hey whatever works.

Barbara

**Simba** · March 13th, 2008, 05:58 PM

tommorrow is friday .. hooray!! i had a bit of a breakdown at work today. was in the staff room getting a tea and could feel the emotions rising up, someone asked was i ok and i just burst into tears. feel like i have been putting on this facade for the 8 weeks i have been at this job and now its all falling down. am actually contemplating finishing at the end of next school term. i feel bad for the kids and the school that i will be letting them down leaving halfway through a year, but i just dont have the energy to do a good job at the moment. DH wants me to keep working there so i get maternity leave next time and i know logically that makes sense but to be honest i just want to quit and have no extra pressure in my life at the moment. maybe i should be spending all my money on lotto tickets rather than pg tests and then i might not need to work!

Barbara - nice to hear from you. i really hope this is your month. i love the "talking to your body" thing i am going to do that ... i am so nuts already no one would probably even blink an eye lid if i started doing that!!!

Katie - so glad that you are feeling positive - harder said than done sometimes but i guess its one of the best things you can do for your bub so well done and keep up the positive vibes.

TM - never tmi after all ttc is what we are all thinking about. i wonder what our DH would chat about if they were online? (sorry that was a bit of a randon thought but just though how different their perspective of ttc and dtd would probably be!)

jo - hope you are doing ok.

**tempus moriendi** · March 14th, 2008, 11:32 AM

My hysteroscopy revealed four follicles! I'm rather stunned.

Katiegirl: fingers remained crossed...

Anthonysmom: fingers crossed for you, too...

Simba: sending cyberhug. Grief catches you up at the worst moments, doesn't it? Can you take a few days off instead?

**Simba** · March 16th, 2008, 07:55 AM

ok - so i had decided that there must be something going a bit wrong with my cycle as i was up to day 44 on friday and still BFN so i made an appointment with my OB for this monday. on saturday i was out and decided to buy a test as i had none at home. i had no intention of doing one until monday morning, but when i got home temtation got the bettter of me even though i knew i had only been to the loo a few hours before. anyway initially it appeared to be neg. but then a faint line appeared!!! DH was so excited - we went out last night and he was so cuddly and protective of me it was really sweet.

woke this morning at 8 and tried to get back to sleep but couldnt so got up and did the other test and this time a darker line so am pretty sure now its a

i dont think its really sunk in yet - i havent even cried or anything i actually feel really calm.

i really think my little angel had something to do with it - it was exactly the same day a year ago that i tested positive with Lani. DH is convinced because of this its going to be a girl.

thanks all for supporting me and keeping me sane to this point - couldnt have done it without you all!!

i hope that it continues to be catching and there are lots more BFP soon.

love to you all
xoxox

**Katiegirl** · March 16th, 2008, 11:19 AM

Congratulations Simba! That is such wonderful news.

How exciting for you and DH. Him being protective sounds so very sweet. Welcome to the rollercoaster, it will be nice to have you beside me. Please feel free to be as excited, nervous or neurotic as you want - we all understand.

As for me...well I had some brown mucous yesterday morning and convinced myself it was all over. It appears to have stopped as of lunch yesterday with only the tiniest bit last night. So I am just waiting to see what happens. My sister told me she often gets brownish mucous in the first trimester, so hanging on to that that hope. I am working very hard on trying to relax (near impossible) and not lose hope. I know it is so important to not overstress, and I also need to believe in this baby more.

Simba - congrats again! And to Barbara, Jo and TM - looking forward to you both joining us soon.

**Mel1977** · March 16th, 2008, 11:49 AM

Oh Simba, I dont really know you but just wanted to pop and say congrats on your wonderful news

I am sure Lani had a hand in this little bubba, and she will be watching over you and her sibling all the way through and doing everything she can to protect you both. How amazing that you got a positive with Lani at the exact same time last year, maybe its Lani's way of letting you know she is there

Katiegirl - Sorry you have had some spotting, how stressful

Dont loose all hope yet though, if it stays brownish and light then I wouldnt think it is not going to be anything but old blood. I havent had any spotting this pregnancy, but when I was 6-7 weeks pregnant with Nicholas I had some brownish spotting and convinced myself I was miscarrying. I know he didnt make but I lost him at 36 weeks so that spotting had nothing to do with his death. Keeping

that it settles down. If you are really concerned though, my advice would be to call Mark - he is so approachable and would be happy to organise some bloods for piece of mind. :hugs: to you, welcome to the rollercoaster

Barbara and anyone else in the TWW - lots of

coming your way.

(sorry for crashing

)

**Simba** · March 16th, 2008, 11:53 AM

thanks katie - sending you

back. i am sure it will all be fine just think of the little angel watching over his little brother or sister i am sure he wil make everything ok. thanks for being my rollercoaster buddy.