Good news ladies -- my hubby found our kity last night. First he (and others!) spent the day really trying to take care of me, as I was a wreck. After he'd put me in a bath and sat with me and stroked my hair while watching funny TV and then put me to bed, trying to get me to sleep finally, he said he was going to go out on his bike and search to make himself feel better. A little while later the phone rang, and since it was close to midnight I knew it was something -- DH calling to say he'd found her and she looked fine, but he was having trouble getting her to leave a neighbor's fenced-in yard, heh.

A huge weight has lifted from me. I got my period last weekend after being so confident that I might be pregnant, and after some crying I thought, "Hey, okay, I didn't get pregnant the first cycle after our loss. That's not so strange. It'll come." A kind of peace finally in other words; I saw a light shining somewhere off in the future. I went to work at my new job and actually was productive and felt good about it. I'd lost weight that last week, breaking a 9-week trend since the M/C of eating and gaining and eating and gaining. And then -- boom. Kitty limbo. I was more than ever convinced that the universe is ****ing with me, and that me being positive or happy about anything only invites hardship. I was even starting to think "The only thing I haven't lost now is my husband, and boy if there were a time for him to get sick of me..."

So getting my little Ada back was a turning point that I believe I desperately needed -- almost to the point where it might be good for me that the little rascal disappeared.

Jen - Those kind of things (the website with that "30 weeks pregnant!") are just awful! We did a good job of getting other people to spread the news about our M/C, but once in a while people pop up that knew we were pregnant and haven't heard about the M/C, and they ask or say things that make us have to say "Well, no, you're right, I SHOULD have been bigger now, but..." I can imagine how losing the ducklings was really difficult as well; it's lovely to have these little pet lives when we're feeling down, but so devastating when they leave us. (Why are there no pets that live 80 years!)

Rozzie - Thanks for the encouragement about the charting. My temp really is very up and down, even now at the beginning of my cycle. But I feel like I have a handle on the CM anyway. And now that I've had my sigh of relief, I feel like we can hop back on that TTC wagon again.

Katiegirl - Full house! Just wondering -- did your sister have her M/C before or after having her children? Your DH will just have to rub your belly more often in order to feel those kicks.

Hammi - I know what you mean about being petrified. I've already thought of what it will be like next time when we have the 12-week ultrasound. If they say everything looks great I'll burst into tears and be confused, since everything was perfect this time at 12 weeks! But so far the fear of going through this again hasn't made me consider not trying. Actually, we did the baby dance so often last month that I think DH was happy to be going to Germany for a few days! You know you want a little one, and sadly I don't think those worries and fears will be muted by waiting a long time. If anything, waiting a long while before we TTC again will make this into an even bigger loss -- because instead of stealing a year from me it would have taken a year and a half, for instance.

Rebellios cat is eating up the last yogurt from my m?sli breakfast, right here beside me!